houdini Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Hello everyone, Here's my story as it's a complicated one. I met my ex of 5yrs through a mutual friend. My ex was visiting her family here in california where I live but she lived in las vegas. We hit it off pretty good but at the same time we were each getting out of a bad marriage so I wasn't to sure if it was a rebound thing or not. We kept in contact and I'd go visit her often and she'd come visit me. that went on for about a year and then I learned she was pregnant, we were having a baby, the thought devistated me because I had just got out of a marriage in which I have two daughters from that marriage and I wasnt sure what to do because of the long distance relationship and the fact that she was pregnant. With all the stress and frustration and overwhelming pressure I distanced myself, we had an ugly breakup for during the first couple of months of her pregnancy. My family kept in touch with her and when my son was born my family went to las vegas to see her and the baby, I didnt go as I was still confused and scared. After a month I kept in contact with her, her pain and anger of me leaving her during her time of need had somewhat went away and she gave me a chance to be apart of her life again and my son's life. After a couple of months I made a big choice to pack up and move to las vegas and even though I was leaving behind my two daughters I knew that I would do what I could to maintain the relationship with my girls. I lived with my girlfriend and our son and her two daughters from her previous marriage for 2yrs and we had discussed moving back to calif. so we could all be a family but during those two years nothing ever came of our discussions on the move, in fact she would see that I was depressed and missed my girls also and would tell me to move back to CA. and we also had many arguments as I seen and felt she held alot of resentment and anger towards me for what i did earlier in the relationship. So after two years of living with her and the kids I did what she said to do and moved back, although it wasnt' a breakup we had decided she would move back to Ca in a few months. Well those few months came and went and it turned into two years trying to keep a long distance relationship going with lots of anger and resentment and lack of trust etc. but still had a plan, to be a family. Well two weeks ago I started to feel she was getting distant, not responding to emails, short phone calls cause she was tired and I finally asked if everything was ok. She said no that she was tired and couldnt do this anymore that we didnt nurture our love during these two years apart like we should have (even though we did see eachother occasionally) and that she was not in love anymore but loved me still. She said she needed space and wanted to be alone, she said it's not becaue of another guy ( I had asked her that question) and that another relationship was far from her mind right now. From that point on I did ALL the wrong things that I thought were right, I called, pleaded, begged, said I would change, did nice things..all the typical desperate things we do when we want someone back. And I could see it was pushing her away. After reading several posts from other websites and especially this one I've decided to do the "no contact" approach, so that I can take a good look at myself and try and be a better person but also to give her, her space. I took alot of things for granted and I know I should have done alot more to keep the relationshop going and at first I blamed myself for alot of things but I believe we both have alot of issues. I love her and miss her and of course I miss my son and her daughters....Like everyone here, I wish there was a quick solution and that we could work TOGETHER to fix our issues because it's not just about me and her it's about our kids too... My problem is now and I havn't read to many posts on this but how do you apply the NC rule when there are kids involved? and whats everyones opinion on my situation. I'm 35 she's 34 we both moved in with our parents to save money so we could buy a house and have the family but now thats all out the window...any advice would be appreciated!!!!! Houdini Quote Link to comment
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