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separating love and sex


Liaka
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Okay, so there is the age-old discussion of Men separating love and sex. I have a really hard time grasping how it is possible… but it’s obvious that some men do it... some do it more than others, and for a select few, all they want is sex no ties... (and hey, even some women do it!) Everyone is different, obviously... BUT are there signs or mannerisms that a guy (or even women) will have when he's in it just for sex? Like lack of eye contact, lack of affection (before, during or after)... etc..? Or will they put on that whole act when trying to get in a girls pants?

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In my own experience (as much as i dislike discussing this on these forums due to its controversial nature) if I'm just aiming to err... "hit it and quit it" as the kids say these days..... I will be as passionate as I am with any other girl, however, after the encounter I will distance myself....... usually she will spend the night, and the next day I will kind of let thigns die down... no cuddling in the morning.. stuff like that...

 

however, before we sleep together, I will be completely into the girl, and affectionate ect..

 

I hope that answers your question (from my experiences) and people here won't bite my head off

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I think the difference that you need to be seeking is the amount that the guy is investing into the relationship. If he puts too much in too quick, that's a red flag. Until he puts something in however, it's too soon. A guy who comes on like gangbusters often is a rake (see chapter 2 at link removed) who stop chasing something once they get it.

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Yeah I don't get the whole sex thing without love. I think how you view this issue has to do with your past experiences. For me I was with the same girl for almost ten years so the thought of just having a one night stand is just weird to me even though it seems like thats all single people do these days.

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First of all not only men to do this but it is nearly always associated with being a male action. I dont believe that most men really want sex with no ties, what they want is sex without a commitment. Be weary of guys that come on too strong, typically their motivation is sex. You have to look at his mannerisms in order to see what his interests are.

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Okay, so there is the age-old discussion of Men separating love and sex. I have a really hard time grasping how it is possible… but it’s obvious that some men do it... some do it more than others, and for a select few, all they want is sex no ties... (and hey, even some women do it!) Everyone is different, obviously... BUT are there signs or mannerisms that a guy (or even women) will have when he's in it just for sex? Like lack of eye contact, lack of affection (before, during or after)... etc..? Or will they put on that whole act when trying to get in a girls pants?

 

 

It's easy to be deceived by someones words or even actions leading up to sex. Some men are better at it than others. When you're paying attention to body language, you're observing to see if their words are matching the correct body language. Usually, body language will silently scream the level of attraction one feels for the other person. As far as long term intentions or goals one has with the other person will remain difficult to guage. By the time you've discovered he/she was just in it to get sex, it's often too late. Why? Because he/she was able to give you an emotional high. And due to humans operating on mostly emotions and little logic, it's easy to get caught up.

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if a guy grabs your butt, it's not a good sign. If he sweet talks you when you are drunk and wants to show you his room, that's bad too.

 

maybe she just has a cute, irresistible butt!

 

I think the best way to guard against guys like this is in the way you present yourself and the way you show that you respect yourself.

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I'm actually really surprised with a lot of your responses to this question. I have see the topic of men being able to sleep with women without attaching feelings to it, which is why I brought this topic up... I have only ever been in long-term loving relationships, so I find it hard to fathom how it’s even possible. But in skimming though other topics I started to notice it happens more than I thought (I think I’m just really naive most of the time). Being single and looking for love, I found it very disheartening and a little scary… I was just curious what goes through a guys mind when he does it... how he responds etc.. But your answers were not what I expected... many of you said you wouldn’t have sex without love. It makes me feel slightly better about guys in general. Mad props to you guys!

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someone quoted something to this effect " once you make love, you'll never settle for sex"

 

rings true to me, the passion is intense and feeling emerge through you....ahh what a experience.

 

whoever said that is earthshatteringly awesome. Changed my mind about * * * * and stuff.. and love and sex ... things different yay

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