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ok im one of those sits-in-the-corner kids (14 yrs old), im not really good a talking to people so when i do have to interact with people (esspecially girls) i get wicked nervous and in church the other day i had to hold hands with this very cute girl that i like (shes 2 years younger than me my hands were like just pouring out sweat and it was so embarrasing , i could tell she wanted to get outta there...any advice on sweaty palms?and this girl, what should i do im in 9th grade shes in 7th, but ive never liked a girl this much before and im definitly not the best looking guy out there and that doesnt exactly help.. what do i do!?

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Don't rush anything with your friend and try not to let your feelings for her take over your life - school, other friendships and activities.

 

She may not be interested in you because you are a ninth grader and she is still in her 7th grade ways of thinking about things - not because of your sweaty palms. Are there any ninth graders you could like? I bet there are.

 

About the shyness: I was exactly like you when I was 14 - especially with the girl I liked.

 

I am much better now but still do crazy, nervous things.

 

What has made things easier for me is just practicing, practicing, practicing talking with people.

 

So talk to everyone that you know and feel safe with. Ask them questions and show real interest in them and you will find the conversations to go more easily. It may always be a bit more difficult with the girls you like, but practice with other people and you will see things get easier.

 

And hey! Practice on some ninth and tenth graders if you really want to get better at interacting - because they will have more interests, schoolwork, and activities in common that you can more easily talk about. Look around you there may be some other shy or less popular people that are in your same position - need to practice interacting. Quite frankly, if I recall, the less popular people at your age were the nicer, better friends, anyway.

 

I am still friends with many people I knew at your age. Truth is the unpopular ones back then are the ones who are often now the most attractive and with the most interesting lives and conversations.

 

Don't worry about looks. People will in the end not be attracted to you because of your looks. I bet you are not that bad looking to many people ... plus your body is changing a lot right now as you are still growing. This is the best time in your life to get plenty of exercise and you will grow-up quite the looker. I used to think I was not that good-looking at your age and over the years have heard several stories of people who had crushes on me and I had no clue.

 

Don't sweat it. You are still learning.

 

Good questions.

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don't freak out. she's a girl you happen to like but she's also a human just like everyone else. you said you're shy but you do have people you talk to, friends, siblings, parents, teachers, whatever. just talk to her the same way you talk to any of the people you already talk to. ask questions you care about the answer to, share a little info about yourself, joke around, talk about anything basically - school, sports, teachers, tv shows, music, play the "favorites" game, etc. get her screen name so you could get to know her better online where its easier to talk. thats all i got for you, hope i helped!

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Little tip I wish I learnt a while back; You can fake confidence. Laugh about the situation to yourself. Secondly, talk to her by talking to everyone. Coz she's pretty young she wont but telling you if she does like you, so your going to have to find this out for yourself. Flirt a bit. Not in a 'Hey baby ' way, but tease her a bit. Find some excuse to touch her (innocently mind, she's young and innocent, so are you) and see how she reacts.

Finally, stop it with all this 'I'm not the best looking guy' nonsense. In my experience looks can be greatly improved on by a sense of humour, and believe you, your looks will also improve with age. I was 14 three years ago, and thank god, my god, I've changed!

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Your body perspires when your nervous. The only way to fix that is to stop getting nervous. And you might want to try, you know, talking to her? You thinking she's cute is not a solid foundation for a relationship. Music is usually a good ice breaker. And, you never know, you could find out something about her that completely turns you off, (like, she listens to the Newsboys, and you listen to System of a Down). Chicks dig confidence, I know it might be a little hard to muster it up but, it'll greatly help your cause.

 

And grammar is you friend. Variable width fonts are not.

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thanks guys...i also go to youth group with this girl (tonight ) and shes in the band, and when im done learning the bass then i can join the band. hopefully this will help me talk to her a little easier...and playing in front of a crowd is sure to help me gain confidence..and the reason i dont want to date a 9th grader form my school is cuz we live in a SEMI-middle of nowhere, and almost all the girls are wanna-be gangsters ect,ect and there were also a few bad rumors going around about me not to long ago now everyone in my grade thinks im perverted

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