I don't know if I'll ever get over this. I'm in a bad place.

[sasha_faye]

My ex, who I dated for almost two years, lied to me about his cocaine use.

He lied to me about how many people he was with before me.

Now he's sleeping with and dating my best friend.

It's only been two months since we broke up.

 

Even though I've refrained from contacting him, reading his blogs, and going to social networking sites, I still get to hear about "how much better" he is doing via her. So I've had to cut her out of my life, and when I do that, she says "Why do you make me feel like I have to chose between you and him?"

 

Not only do I not have my boyfriend anymore, I've lost my confidant.

 

I've posted this before, but the pain isn't getting better, no matter what I do to get my mind off things. I'm in the middle of changing therapists (the one I have now doesn't believe in NC) so I won't be able to get in for an appointment until the end of next week.

 

I feel hurt and betrayed by both my ex and my best friend. I even have dreams that my sorority sisters decide they like my ex more than they like me.

It just feels like everyone is a liar.

I'm so very, very depressed.

[wishiknew]

sasha faye, i've been in a similar situation. minus the cocaine use part that is.

I dated this one girl for 5 years, in the end she decided she decided she didn't love me and we broke up. A week later I found out she was sleeping with one of my best friends. I was in denial about it for a long time, but when i finally accepted it and saw them for who they really are, I moved on. This is what you have to do, for your own sanity.

 

I know things seem dark and lonely now, I've been there. But trust me when I say this, they will get better and you will find someone else who is better for you and more deserving of both your friendship and your love.

[AustinGuy]

My advice is to find someone to talk to about it - and keep talking about it. Whether its a friend, family member or therapist. I recently have felt a similar pain within the last week and its tough, trust me. At times you think you are going crazy and losing your mind. The best advice I can give is that down the line, when you are in a better, healthier relationship with a guy who deserves you way more than your current bf, you will look back and thank God things didn't work out. That's just how life works.

 

For now, keep active. I'm working out 3 times a day now just to keep my mind off of things. At night, go to a movie or read a book. Its helps!

[Hope75]

Hey Sasha,

 

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. My first thought is that your so-called "best friend", really isn't much of a friend at all.

 

It must be very difficult to lost both your bf and your best friend, to the ultimate betrayels.

 

I think you are on the right track searching for a good therapist that you can talk to, and removing your "friend" from your life was the right move as well- you don't need that kind of person around you.

 

Do you have other friends and family that you can lean on?

 

Keep a journal, and keep venting here too.

 

You will get through this.

[Kalika]

Wow, your friend is finding a convenient way to put the blame on you by saying you're "forcing her to choose".. I'm impressed that she's so deluded that she actually sees herself as the victim in all of this.

 

Listen honey, what you're going through is rough but you have to look at it for what it is: your ex was a liar, so be happy he's gone. Your supposed best friend was NOT a best friend. Mourn the loss of someone you thought was a confidant, but turned out to be worthless in the friend department. It's better you learn it now than later. And now look at what other opportunities you have to make your life happier, and to bring better people into it.

 

P.S. you have every right to be really, really angry.. but after a while you should let it go and just be happy that you got rid of two bad people from your life

[sasha_faye]

Thanks for the speedy responses, everyone!

 

sasha faye, i've been in a similar situation. minus the cocaine use part that is.

I dated this one girl for 5 years, in the end she decided she decided she didn't love me and we broke up. A week later I found out she was sleeping with one of my best friends. I was in denial about it for a long time, but when i finally accepted it and saw them for who they really are, I moved on. This is what you have to do, for your own sanity.

 

I know things seem dark and lonely now, I've been there. But trust me when I say this, they will get better and you will find someone else who is better for you and more deserving of both your friendship and your love.

 

Oh my goodness. I'm sorry that you had to be involved in that situation. However, your story is inspirational. I just have to face the fact that they deserve each other.

 

My advice is to find someone to talk to about it - and keep talking about it. Whether its a friend, family member or therapist. I recently have felt a similar pain within the last week and its tough, trust me. At times you think you are going crazy and losing your mind. The best advice I can give is that down the line, when you are in a better, healthier relationship with a guy who deserves you way more than your current bf, you will look back and thank God things didn't work out. That's just how life works.

 

For now, keep active. I'm working out 3 times a day now just to keep my mind off of things. At night, go to a movie or read a book. Its helps!

 

Word. Keeping active is great. Not only are you getting in shape (in case you should ever run into the ex on the street, you can look hot!) but it releases lots of endorphins. I've enrolled myself in a dance class, which helps on the days that I have it. On the off days, I really need to hit the gym... it's just so hard to get motivated to go...

 

Do you have other friends and family that you can lean on?

 

Keep a journal, and keep venting here too.

 

You will get through this.

 

My family has been absolutely amazing. They tell me I'm wonderful and "too good for him," and although I realize I AM too good for him, I still feel like their opinion is biased... which is why I want to talk to a therapist again.

I've also been spending more time with my sorority sisters. They've been there for me a lot and making sure I get out of my room. It's nice.

Thank you for your support!

 

 

P.S. you have every right to be really, really angry.. but after a while you should let it go and just be happy that you got rid of two bad people from your life

 

Although I've cut her out of my life, I don't want to make a huge issue out of it with her. In some ways, I think she is doing it to get a rise out of me- like she has something that I "want" but "can't have." Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think she's always been slightly jealous of my successes and she wants me to get upset that she's happy and I'm not.