smiles21 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Really have been debating texting as of lately.. It's been about 13 weeks NC, I have held. I feel like I need to text her, to just let her know she has been on my mind. She fell out of love. I feel like I can get her back. I didn't at the time.. I'm not sure if she is seeing anyone. We dated for four years, and I still think about her quite a bit. I just want her to know that I still care.. thursday would mark our 4 year aniversary..I wonder if she thinks about me.. Just a simple text saying Hi.. Link to comment
HurleyBabe6917 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Do it. But, I think texting is sorta impersonnal. Link to comment
bella321 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I'd advise against it. You will feel way worse if she doesn't respond.... Link to comment
HurleyBabe6917 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I'd advise against it. You will feel way worse if she doesn't respond.... Hmm... that's a good point. Link to comment
smiles21 Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 Ugh.... torn between a rock and a hard place.. Link to comment
stylejunkie Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I say go for it. You never know until you try... Link to comment
smiles21 Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 I feel like I cant handle it if she is seeing someone else, why would I want to screw that up. Link to comment
friscodj Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Hey bro, Let's examine the facts here. You miss her, you want her back, and you are debating whether or not to text her to wish her a happy anniversary of a relationship that no longer exists based on her decision to terminate because she lost feelings for you. What is this text going to do? I think you are mistaking getting her back with getting her love for you and the past back. That is gone my friend... Of course she thinks about you. Of course she hurts because of this separation too. But she hasn't contacted you has she? What does that tell you? She had the impetus to pull the trigger and break up with you and in light of her grieving here, she is not contacting you. That clearly says to me she and her feelings are gone. But if you feel a deep conviction to text her, you feel you must text her, do it. I think at any rate her casual response or complete lack thereof will be the kick in the nuts and resulting devastation you need to never have such thoughts of contacting her again. 1 Link to comment
lifestream Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I agree. Go for it. What's the worst that could happen? You're technically out of each other's lives anyway. If she's seeing someone else, thats her prerogative. If you can't be friends, you simply have to let go. Link to comment
cantexplain Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I feel like I cant handle it if she is seeing someone else, why would I want to screw that up. so how is it not knowing if she is seeing someone else or not? I am no expert on no contact but know that it works. Its help to heal me from heartbreak. And it also has lead to the space necessary to help others find their way back to me. So you want to break No Contact, huh? to me there could be three major reasons to No Contact. 1) to not scare away someone by continually showing love interest when this is what they do not want at this time 2) to prevent us from making that contact and just being reminded that we did it because we wanted more and the other still does not - OUCH - that same hot stove! 3) to "deprogram" ourselves of our need for this one person I say if you think you can handle the risk of rejection or repeat of previous problems, then come up with a plan to start a better relationship with this person. This plan may include continued no contact for some more time, or some other strategy. If so, it is important to date other people in order to keep perspective. This person might not be the one, afterall. I would at least call if you are going to contact. Texting at this time seems to me like hiding yourself in a way. I'd be more bold if I could. And in the context of an anniversary of a broken relationship does not sound good to me. My sense is you should wait longer and try to date others. Link to comment
smiles21 Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 . But if you feel a deep conviction to text her, you feel you must text her, do it. I think at any rate her casual response or complete lack thereof will be the kick in the nuts and resulting devastation you need to never have such thoughts of contacting her again. Kinda LOL'd at that. Yea. I know. She called me like a month and a half ago, left no voicemail,and I missed the call. I wonder if my life would be any different had I called back, or picked up the phone. I feel like If I text I will be weak, and she knows im stubborn, so is she. I know I can look on her myspace page and see if she's seeing someone, but I cant bring myself to do it.. I've held out this long..And no.. she isn't contacting me..just that one call. Link to comment
cantexplain Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I agree. Go for it. What's the worst that could happen? You're technically out of each other's lives anyway. If she's seeing someone else, thats her prerogative. If you can't be friends, you simply have to let go. yes, rejection never killed anyone its really hard for me to be just friends until I know that I can not and should not be in a romantic relationship with the other. I wish I could be bigger than that. It is hard. So to get to the point of handling being just friends, there is no reason to pursue anything else, for me. I hate it - because that means I got to let even the friend in this person go at least until I can accept all this. ugh, it hurts. Link to comment
cantexplain Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Kinda LOL'd at that. Yea. I know. She called me like a month and a half ago, left no voicemail,and I missed the call. I wonder if my life would be any different had I called back, or picked up the phone. I feel like If I text I will be weak, and she knows im stubborn, so is she. I know I can look on her myspace page and see if she's seeing someone, but I cant bring myself to do it.. I've held out this long..And no.. she isn't contacting me..just that one call. well hey, so she did call & was afraid to leave a message like you are afraid to even call. I understand that many people these days think CallerID is like leaving a message. So you know what this means to her. If leaving CallerID does not mean like leaving a message, then she didn't really give you a reason to call back. If leaving CallerID is like leaving a message, you held your NO Contact ground and still can initiate the next contact when you are ready. also, love means taking certain risks - everything worthwhile does - so at some point you will have to accept the risks and make your next move. The only way to find out is to try. Link to comment
friscodj Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I wonder if my life would be any different had I called back, or picked up the phone. Don't you think if she had something important to say that she would have called back or at least left a voicemail message? But don't let the advice of Internet strangers on a Monday night run your life. Go text her, wish her happy anniversary, take your kick in the nuts like most of us have endured, learn a valuable lesson, and really start the healing process... Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 If you feel like you would be too much emotionally affected by certain responses (which you obviously would) then hold off on the contact. You gotta be in a place where you care more about what you want than what she feels. NC phase one is the way to get there and you're still in it. Link to comment
SadOldMan Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I've changed my mobile phone sim. Her number isn't on it. There will be NO texts or calls to it from her to me or vice versa ;-) Link to comment
smiles21 Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 Part of me knows its not gonna be good if i text.. she will respond, I know that much.. she did some messed up things to me in the end. Link to comment
Biffy Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 she did some messed up things to me in the end. Is that not motivation enough NOT to send her anything? Link to comment
smiles21 Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 Well, one thing was messed up and she apologized for it. But.. I sent the text. I cant go on wondering. So now, its there. I turned my phone off immediately. I'm scared to turn it back on now. I'm waiting for my kick in the nuts. Least I made an effort.. now this will be my closure if I ever truly needed it. Sent it at 7:30am this morning. Link to comment
hockeyboy Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 sometimes that proverbial kick in the nuts is the best thing for you. and sometimes it doesnt even hurt as bad as you think...only because you feel a sense of relief, because you know you can/have to move on. it usually provides a bit of motivation to do so. for example i had a girl call me once at 3am. i called back and some guy picked up and ran his mouth to me. after going months without being able to do NC, that gave me the motivation to do so. i went back to bed, slept great, and didnt speak to her for months. good luck when you turn the phone back on. Link to comment
smiles21 Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 Well.. I turned my phone on, and she replied at like 7:30am this morning, right after I sent it. I texted: "Do you ever think about me, or am I a memory slowly fading..." Her Response: "I have my good days and bad ones.. why all of a sudden are you asking me now..." and another after asking "What about you"... Link to comment
NolaDarling Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Well don't keep us in suspense...Or at least me! Did you respond to her text yet? Link to comment
smiles21 Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 I havn't but I'm going to now.. Link to comment
i2oadi2unnei2 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Oh my gawd, inquiring minds want to know LOL! Oh the suspense! Link to comment
smiles21 Posted January 30, 2007 Author Share Posted January 30, 2007 Well she responded.. I basically just said I wanted her to know I still thought about her, and I needed to get it off my chest. Her response was: "Well I do miss you, but a lot of things happened in the end that still bother me". What she is talking about I'm not sure, we parted on pretty decent terms I thought. I said NOTHING about missing her.. that was all her. Link to comment
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