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Me doing most of the calling...


windorama
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Hi everyone...

I have been dating this guy for about a month now, things are going well...we see each other often enough (2X a week) and talk/text daily.

 

I only have one problem, he will often text me during the day to see how I am, but I am almost always the one that has to do the calling.

 

He says that it is because he doesn't want to bother me, as I am really busy with work these days, and have a pretty full social life. But I think that perhaps if he really wanted to talk, he would call. But, perhaps he is too polite, not knowing what I am up to...in meetings etc.

 

I just find it frustrating that I always have to be the one to initiate contact via the phone.

 

Ideas? I am probably overreacting, as per usual.

Windorama

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Some men like myself have a difficult time talking on the phone. One thing that helped is using a speaker phone and moving my hands when I talk. Things just flow that way for some reason. If he doesn't suck at talking on the phone like me, maybe you can try to get interested in what he likes and maybe he'll call you about that.

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I only have one problem, he will often text me during the day to see how I am, but I am almost always the one that has to do the calling.

 

Well, you are taking it in turns, really - he's texting you first, you're calling him first. Seems to be equal in that way, so don't sweat it! Is he offhand when you call, or is he always pleased to hear from you? I used to have those kind of worries too, but then I realised that it was pretty equal overall.

 

Just enjoy being with him - if it really bothers you, you can ask him to call you occasionally, because you feel a little bit like you're the one who always initiates. But I wouldn't make a big deal of it, to be honest.

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I agree that this sounds like something you probably needn't worry about too much.

 

The easiest way to re-train him though is to not call for a little while. But that smacks of gameplaying and if it doesn't feel right, don't do it.

 

It sounds like he's trying to be sensitive to your life - I agree you could mention he can call you if you want, see how that goes first.

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text messages are non intrusive. they don't mess with your job or other commitments. you can get one while you're working or at the market.

 

phone calls on the other hand, people find hard to ignore. myself, if i'm busy, i put the phone to voice mail. i've noticed a lot of people will instead stop what they're doing and answer the phone, often only to say "lemme call you back later." he probably just doesn't want to interrupt.

 

or, maybe he hates talking on the phone. A lot of guys do.

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