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How to get him to propose?


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Okay, I know that was a silly question, since I know that you cannot FORCE anyone to propose. I have been dating my BF for a year now and he asked me a few weeks ago "when do you think we'll know?" I took that as a positive thing, meaning that he's thinking about marriage.

 

My question is, is there any topics that I can bring up to him to let him know that I am ready to tie the knot? Yet at the same time I don't want to scare him off. Thanks.

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I hate to be the one to rain on your party here, and maybe it's just my own personal opinion that not everyone should share... but...

 

Don't you think it's kind of early to think of marriage? I mean, you've been together only one year... not five or six.

 

Sorry. I guess it's the whole "More than 50% of marriages end in divorce." thing that bugs me so much today; I've been trying to figure out why this happens so much? I think people rush in to marriage before truly knowing the person, as being one of the major reasons why.

 

So, my suggestion: Take it slow, don't try to think of marriage just yet; get to really know your partner a lot more. Sometimes a "storm" or two is healthy, since it brings out some of a persons "true colors" that you can see first, before you make that big... no... HUGE commitment of marriage.

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We really haven't talked about marriage in so many words, just hints like "how would you feel if we lived here? or would you convert to my religion?" but not specifically about marriage. I just don't want to scare him off.

 

Also I don't really care to have a wedding. I would love to elope or go to vegas.

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I do not agree that one year is not long enough to know how you feel, but at the same time I wonder if you guys are ready to get married if you don't want to raise this at all.

 

I suggest you do come flat out and just ask him some questions as a conversation starter. Maybe start with something like:

 

- you wonder if he sees you in his long term future

- you wonder whether he believes in marriage, whether he wants that for himself one day

- you wonder if he wants children etc (pick something major that you want)

- you wonder if he sees himself as getting married one day

- you wonder if he sees himself marrying you one day

- you wonder what to him feeling "ready" would feel like

- you wonder if he's far off that feeling

 

These are relatively bland statements that do not smack of anything that I think should scare him off. I'm not suggesting you say all of it, but pick something maybe.

 

To be frank though, if he is going to be scared off you completely when you mention marriage after a year together, he's not right for you anyway. He might not be ready just yet, but you guys should be able to discuss that. Try not to be scared. If he's not the guy for you you are just as well knowing that now.

 

lilred, when he asked you "how do you think we'll know", how did you respond? What conversation did you have then?

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I swear there is a stigma around "marriage conversations".

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and live together and talk about it openly and honestly. We have to because I'm 20 and he's 28 and we need to get a time frame that suits both of us. We have agreed that at the 5 year mark, it will be a good time to tie the knot. (however, the proposal will be a surprise)

 

Just bring it up... ask him how he feels about it and if it's important to him. Ask him if he could see himself getting married any time soon. Don't make it a taboo subject. Open communication is good, just don't come on too strong and scare. Be casual about it.

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