need advice ....please!!!

[jenjen]

the guy i have been seeing for a while is a father to be, he slept with someone when we stopped talking for a few weeks and just found out the girl is pregnant and is keeping the child even against his wishes.

 

he has been putting me out of his life lately..not calling or msging me...it hurts, when i found out she was pregnant i stuck by him, he was so upset she was keeping the child, he is not ready to be a father, but as i said, she is keeping it and there is nothing he can do but be this child's father.

 

I know he will be a great father, i know he will be fantastic at it, but he is so scared and he is going to wait until she has the baby and then get a paternity test to see if he is the father for sure.

 

i feel like im nothing to him now...we werre happy and now i guess im going to be crowding the "family" he does not want to be with her, he told me she is not someone he see's himself with, im really upset..i want to support him but i get no responses to phone calls or messages, he said its to do me a favour....i dont know wat to do...i have to admit...i do love him...very much, its killing me inside...

 

please if someone has some advice this would be great....

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

if you have ever read "men are from mars woman are from venus" then you know that when a man has things on his mind he retreats to what they call the cave... and he spends time there alone and thinks.... the book also states that if you try and get him to come out of his cave too soon... he will only pull away.

 

i believe this. It makes sense to me ..based on the actions of the men i have/had in my life.

 

I think your boyfriend just needs some time and space to process what is going on... he's about to be a father....thats HUGE ... so just give him some space....he will come out of his cave soon enough. =)

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i'm not sure what favour he is trying to do by NC with you... has he gone back to her, and just neglected to tell you this, or just done a runner on the both of you?

 

he is either overwhelmed by the whole thing right now and doesn't want to be with any woman (maybe afraid you will get pregnant too?) or maybe he is debating going back to this woman who is pregnant...

 

but either way, the best thing to do is to let him be... if he is overwhelmed, he may need some time to think, and if he has decided to get back with her, then you need to respect that since that is his decision...

 

i am sorry, i'm sure it was quite a shock for you, and those kinds of unexpected pregnancies when someone is on a 'break' are alway very disruptive of everyone's lives... but as much as you love him, you can't be supportive of him if he has made a decision to be with someone else...

 

please send him one last email and say you would like to know why he has made this decision, is he back with her? he at least owes you the truth why he is doing this, but sometimes people chicken out and can't deal with a breakup, so they just kind of murmur some excuse then slip off...

 

he has your number if he wants support from you... that is really hard to accept, but it sounds like he has made a decision to not be with you, and maybe go back to this other woman, regardless of what he told you about not wanting to be with her... or he may just be overwhelming, but either way, leave him alone for a while after you email him asking him why he is doing this, and see what he does...