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Contact again... feeling good though!

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I posted a week ago about how my ex-girlfriend texted me about the death of my grandpa, and how I felt like crap for a couple of days after our text / e-mail conversation. This took place over last Saturday / Sunday. Well, by Tuesday I was starting to feel ok again, spent time with friends and was busy with school and by Friday was feeling pretty good. Then I had contact with her again.


I don't think I've mentioned before that we work together. Now, we don't ever have to see each other really, but there is a chance that we could bump into one another in the halls or break room. This hasn't happened yet, but on Friday, I was walking through the break room to head back to work, and apparently I walked RIGHT by her, but I really didn't see her. She texted me back a minute later saying "That was cold. I think I looked up and saw you walk right by me." As soon as I saw her number pop up on my phone, my heart started POUNDING, like it always does. I sent her back a quick text saying "I didn't see you." She replied that she was sitting right by the door, and she hadn't seen me in forever, and that it would have been nice to talk for a minute. I sent another short text saying what do you want to talk about. She said just wanted to catch up. I sent her another text saying "I don't want to make small talk with you. You meant too much to me for too long, and I'm not ready for that yet." She replied saying that she understood, and apologized for texting me in the first place.


This next part I'm not sure I should have done, but I did, and I feel good about it. On a whim, I sent another text to her, saying that I wanted her to know that I had been thinking about us, and about what I could have done to make things better. I told her that I had been reading books on communication (our BIGGEST problem), and had been improving myself, and that I wasn't going to make mistakes like those again. When she replied, she sounded surprised... she said "wow really? i'm really glad that you're doing that! it sounds like things are looking up for you". I replied back that yes, they were. I said perhaps we can talk sometime in the future, but not yet, and told her to have a good night. She wished me a good night as well (enthusiastic, with an exclamation point lol), and that was it.


And for some reason, I feel fine. This is such a strange feeling now, after 1.5 months of torture. I guess this means that maybe I'm finally making some progress... and that's good news!! I know that I'm not over her yet, I still love her, but at least I don't want to dive in front of traffic after I talk to her.

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