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A great, big thank you is in order

Kevin T

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For who, you may ask? Well, it would take more time than I have (plus I really tired as I type this, so I'll be as succinct as possible). As many of you probably know, a lot of my topics have revolved around my shyness/insecurity about my looks, and thus, my behaviour with women, and subsequent singleness as a result of such behaviour.


Well, there have been more than a few of you who have been kind and encouraging to me - and you know who you are - and I thank you. I truly appreciate it. And there have also been those who have been not-so kind, yet your words rang true and you did your best to help me - not by giving me what I wanted to hear, but by telling me the truth, no matter how harsh it was. You too, I wish to thank because it was exactly what I needed to hear.


I needed to hear that I was bringing 90% of my problems with women on myself. That's right, I fully acknowledge it. It was my poor attitude about myself and my own self-limiting beliefs (mainly about my shyness, etc.) that were holding me back. But you wouldn't let me off the hook so easily, and instead, you made sure I heard it so many times that it finally stuck in; you know, the part about it being something I could change, something I could control. Your so-called "tough love" was a great asset to me, and I genuinely thank each of you who has told me the harsh truth - that I was really my own worst enemy, and had none save myself to blame for my singleness with women. You were 100% right and I thank you for your patience with me, during my lapse of temporary self-pity.


And for those who said I was good looking, I appreciate that too. It meant a lot to me. I really appreciated it. It helped me realize that it was mostly all in my head, and I've got a lot going for me. Plus, I've also come to realize that confidence, the way you carry yourself, attitude and boldness with women goes as far as you let it. If you become serious about approaching women and improving yourself (which I have, BTW, thanks to several of you guys' help), then things can DRASTICALLY improve for you in a VERY small period of time. I'm not even close to where I'd like to be yet, but I'm getting there.


And it all starts with believing in yourself, stopping the self-pity, acknowledging that you CAN change things yourself, not allowing yourself to fear or doubt, then just countering negative, self-defeating thoughts with positive optimistic ones. If I can change, then surely there is hope for almost anyone. The only reason why change was so difficult for me before was because I ACTIVELY resisted it and always retreated back to a point of comfort (or safety) rather than taking risks by approaching strange women and so on. But no more! I'm not saying I'm the best with women, nor do I wish to be, but I no longer fear approaching girls I don't know and when I do approach them, I can be confident and charming, without seeming phony. And it's all because I decided to make a change and stuck with it.


But I think it would've been a lot tougher without good advice from many of you. So thanks a lot.


edit: I should also mention that I now asking girls for their numbers right on the spot, after meeting them. I never would've been able to do that six months ago, or even two months ago. In many respects, I honestly feel like a totally different person - which is good!

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Congrats on the progress. I know how it feels.


The best part: As long as you don't go anti-social, you can only get better.


Do you mean as in anti-social PD? I don't go around killing people or robbing banks. lol


Actually, I assume you mean in terms of getting all avoidant, reticent and shy again.


Oh don't worry, I've already been rejected a couple times. lol And I'm still okay, so I don't think I've got much to worry about. With everything, there are risks... but it's such a sad way to live, never risking anything.


If you want to win something great, you have to risk something equally great.


And heloladies is right. It IS mostly all downhill now. Even I can see that. People I haven't seen for months are telling me they notice a big change in me (but they can't pin their fingers on what. lol At least I know what it is.) In any event, it has become effortless now. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I don't. Who cares? I'm trying and doing the best I can (which ain't half bad, actually. ) Nevertheless, I'm doing what so many guys don't have the guts to do, and that counts for something.


Plus, I find I enjoy the spontenaeity of the chase. It's fun. Never thought I'd say that; but it's true! And it's even more fun when you succeed! lol The thing about shyness is that once you stop listening to your fear and just jump out there and DO IT, then you realize you had nothing to fear in the first place. It becomes an automatic process of self-improvement once you step out and take the plunge.

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I'm getting there, Ellie.


It is a process. Everyday is a process.


It's part of a process of choosing to stay positive and hopeful, even if things don't go my way. It's part of a process of working to better myself and it's part of a process to keep at it even when I don't feel like it.

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Don't forget to wipe, lol.


All jokes aside, you've done well to overcome your problem. Although I am not really all that shy around women, my own problem is just as bad. I have bitterness and anger towards the opposite sex, Probably because of what that exwife of mine put me through (you wouldn't believe me if I told you). I am in the process of working through my problem as we speak. So, I understand.

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Oh, I'm not there yet. As I said, it's an ongoing battle.


It all begins in the mind. If one can discipline their mind and train their thoughts to work FOR them, rather than against them, the rest will easily follow suit.


Harder than it sounds. But I'm getting there.


Kevin, my mind is so twisted I don't think it can be disiplined, lol. And that's the way uh huh uh huh I like it, lol.

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