cant sleep

[Melis]

its 2am and all i can think about is him with someone else. He works at a bar, and I know for sure he went to dinner with a girl he works with tonight before work. Tough night, cant sleep, stomach is in knots!

[annie24]

think of 10 reasons why you are glad to be rid of him. did he have annoying habits? are you glad you never have to see his annoying sister again? let us know!

[Melis]

Hes has a ton of annoying things! Im trying to change my mind set, but all i can do is imagine him with this other girl. It hurts so bad, Ive tried thinking about something else but just keep going back! Im starting NC as of tomorrow...he called at 8, and we talked shortly, but i know I need to be done with it, so Im not calling or texting from here on out. Just wish i could sleep, then i dont have to think about him!

[scarew]

It would be hard to sleep, its normal, and its a healthy way to grieve. Tomorrow it will be hard to sleep too. Next week will be a little easier, but you might still be thinking about him. The week after that will get even easier, and you will realize how many other wonderful men are out there and that you deserve better anyways. Each day (if u maintain NC) it will get a little easier, I promise. Just keep telling yourself that this feeling won't last forever, and its ok not to sleep. Try doing something productive because it might make u feel better (clean your house, go through that stuff you've been meaning to go through). Or just stay up all night watching TV, reading, or hanging out on enotalone. Either way, don't worry, you will catch up on ur sleep later.

 

It will only get easier, hang in there.

[stephz]

Melis,

I know the feeling. I am going through it too. I keep telling myself to think of all the positive things instead of the bad things.

 

You'll find someone better.

 

Watch some silly movies that get you laugh even if you've watched before. Watch Comedy Central. At least, you won't stay up wth eyes swollen from crying your eyes out. Not as much at least. Works for me. G'Luck!

[Melis]

Last night was a rough one! I maintained NC, but he didn't contact me either. I just kept imagining him with another girl, it kills me inside! Well now its a new day, and im hoping its a little easier. This pain just really sucks, and I miss him so much.

[Wandering_Sword]

Been there through the sleepless nights and all the overthinking like imagining the ex with someone else and them having a good time without you. But it is just that, us imagining all this stuff and not imagining ourselves in a better place or having a bright future. Outside of the door to our homes is a world so incredibly large that we can't even begin to imagine the scope of its magnificence.

The "mourning" period you're going through is a normal part of the healing process. Just take everything day by day and things will slowly fall into place, they always do unless you are purposefully keeping yourself down.

I was in the same position as you but I managed to go two months of NC and slowly regaining the big picture on life and with each passing day its beginning to look much brighter.

Take the time you need to heal, and keep smiling (difficult now, but it will come)

[NewPhillyGuy]

Melis, been here. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Such is life. I'm really glad that you came to this site and are posting about your feelings. Keep it up. We are here for you.

 

I read farther up this page the suggestion to write down things you dislike about your ex. It's really a good idea. When I was going through a REALLY TOUGH breakup, I had a list that I carried in my work bag. I would be doing just fine, but all of a sudden, I would be on the verge of tears. This is where the list helped. It helped to stay focused on the realization that this person was not good for me. I kept the list for months. I waited until I reached the point that I wasn't thinking about her at all. One day, I opened up a particular pocket in my bad, and thought wow look at this. At this point, I had not read the list in a couple months. I knew it was ok to throw it away then. I was over her. It felt great.

 

Wishing you the best of luck. Breaking up with someone is a very hard thing to endure. It's a terrible feeling. Right now, you are probably scared that you will feel this way forever. You won't. I promise. You WILL get through this. Here are some things you can try aside from the list.

 

1) Go to the gym and work out. If you don't belong to a gym, consider joining one and make going a part of your routine.

 

2) Talk to members of your family about your feelings. This is something that you may not be comfortable doing. Maybe you have never before and are not sure how they would react. Don't be ashamed. You might try to talk someone you are not extremely close to, and you will be surprised by their understanding and compassion. Remember, plenty of people have gone through these situations! Call up your friends. They will understand. Call up someone you haven't spoken to in a while. They will understand and want to help you. Like I said, you are not the only one who has been here. When my fiancee left me, I called up an old friend from high school I hadnt talk to in several months. He drove a good distance so we could hang out and just talk.

 

 

4) Whenever I got upset, I would just get into my bed and lay there miserable. Eventually, I would fall asleep. I did this alot, so I could just sleep and not deal with my feelings. Don't do this. Get out. You need to take your mind off the situation. Keep looking for ways to distract yourself.

 

5) Alot of people say jump right in and date someone else. I don't think this is a great idea. You may just be prolonging your recovery, because really what you are doing here is rushing to recapture what you just lost. You need to take the time to process what happened and how you might learn from it.

 

6) Treat yourself. Don't go overboard though. Some people will go on a shopping spree and spend irresponsibly because they are emotionally off. Don't do this. Debt will just be another problem you have to deal with. Go out and get your favorite dish. Maybe just go to lunch or dinner at your favorite restaurant and bring a friend. This is what I mean.

 

7) It's OK to rethink the situation sometimes, but don't get into "analysis paralysis." Some people (me....notably) will kill themselves rethinking every situation and conversation over and over, and try to figure out - would we still be together if I didn't say this or do that. This is not healthy. The relationship ended for a reason. It just wasn't meant to be, and that's OK. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Maybe something is wrong with the other person or maybe you two just weren't compatible. That's ok! Someday, you will find someone with whom you are compatible. Until then, you have time for making your mistakes and learning, so things will be great once the right person comes along.

 

I just remember what it was like. My plan was just to throw in my two cents, but it got alot longer than I expected. Good luck to you and keep on fighting. Remember - you WILL meet someone and if the person mistreated you, realize that EVERYONE gets back what they dish out.