Me and my best friend = Problems

[Me and myself]

Hello my friends

 

First let me tell the background story so that you can get the whole context.

There was a local bar where I used to go several times with my best male friend. In this bar there was, most of the times, a girl that I always wanted to meet but never had the nerve to talk to.

A few months ago I found her web page and send her a message, which she replied. We start to talk on MSN during a few months. I invited her to go on holidays, with me and my best friend and, to my surprise, she agreed to go with us, together with her best female friend.

She is a really beautiful and sexy girl and I was expecting to find here the relationship of my life. In the meanwhile, me and my friend didn't know exactly what were her feelings about each one of us. This caused a strange climate between us, a kind of a jealousy, competition, etc. We never had shown this to each other, never talked about it, but it could be felt by both of us.

It happens that this girl started to have feelings about me and, 2 months later, we were in a relationship.

Since we finished the holidays, my best never never contacted this girl by any means. I believe it was natural for him to do that because these girls were our new friends. I don't know if he didn't do it because he was waiting for her to call him (he's kind of a shy person) or if he didn't wanted to interfere in my "strategy" to start a relation with this girl.

Anyway, my relation lasted for only one month and was finished on the Xmas 2006. I decided to cut all the contacts with her and that's what I have been doing for the last 3 weeks. Never talked to her again, neither she tried to contact me, and it was fine that way.

Suddenly, when my best friend noticed she didn't contacted me anymore, started to tell me that he will send her an e-mail to invite her to drink a coffee. This was something I was not expecting from him.

Tonight, we had agreed to go out for a bar to listen to some live music and, naturally, I called him and he said he got an invitation from a work colleage to go drink something to the bar where my ex shall be (she's always there at weekends).

Of course, in my understanding, this was just an excuse to meet my ex and it seems to me that he was only waiting for our relation to fail so that he could try his luck. I'm accepting that my relatioship has really finished but I still have strong feelings for her.

 

So, this raises a lot of doubts in my mind:

 

- Is he really trying is luck or not? If he is doing that, I think his attitude is not an attitude that you would expect from your best friend. I believe he should support me through these bad times.

 

- He's the only person with whom I used to go out at night. I don't have many other friends who can join me so, basically, I'm alone.

 

- I don't want to talk with him about this because I might be wrong and it will offend him.

 

- I was starting to feel much better since I broke all the contacts with my ex and now my best friend decided to start talking with her. This is nothing but a problem of mine but it makes me feel that I'm not confortable near him anymore, even if they stay just friends (if not, it will be the end of the world for me).

 

At this moment I don't want to meet him and if he invites me to go out at night I think I will refuse his invitation. I'm here without knowing how to handle this situation.

 

Can anybody give some advise, please? What would you do?

[chai714]

Since he's your best friend, I would initiallly take what he said at face value. He said he went with a work colleague so you shouldn't doubt that. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. If he lied, deal with that later but right now you don't know if he did.

 

Don't be a needy friend. Just because he went out with another buddy doesn't mean you should feel neglected just because you don't have as many friends.

 

Not sure where you live, but one cardinal rule of guy friends are that you don't ever date your buddys ex girlfriend. If you find that he is trying to get at her, let him know that it's not cool with you and that you're still getting over her. You'll need to speak up otherwise if your buddy is trying to make a move on her and you don't say anything, he'll think that you're cool with it.