i'm confused

[littleman]

okay,

so heres a confusing one for you guys. Theres this girl that i'm kinda into, but she's not really tht type for relationships, and i'm pretty content with just being friends so thats where we are i guess.

 

So last night we were hanging out, and i brought up the idea that we should go for a run together in the morning to the top of this huge hill where we could watch the sun rise. (not very romantic, but what ever) so anyway we decided that 7:00 was a good time to meet and called it good....so i got up early and ran to her house the next morning, and sat outside calling her cell phone about 6 times, with no answer. I didn't really want to ring the doorbell for fear of waking up her parnets or something like that...........so i just left and ran home.

 

I'm still struggling as to what classification i should give this problem. and what i should do about it ? its tearing me up inside...should i have rung the door bell ?

 

 

any responce would be great.

 

thanks

[blender]

Okay, perhaps she just overslept and now she's embarrassed. Do not jump to any conclusions and take this personally... after all she did say "yes".. but I'm sure when morning came by she was sound asleep and couldn't get herself out of bed, and she wasn't about to answer the phone and say "I'm not going"..she is probably trying to "come up with an excuse" right now, and will call you with one..

 

DO NOT INITIATE CONTACT WITH HER...

 

let her call you, have the self respect to just let it go for now, do not take it personally and if she calls and says "I overslept" then say, "that's okay, I understand, talk to you soon, you have a great day". Then "wait" and see how she chooses to handle it after that.. I have a feeling if you are very understanding for this "first blip of her behavior" she will be more attracted to you... if not, then she's just not the girl for you in the long run anyway... so let go for today, chalk it up, feel good about YOURSELF for having run up there to her house, followed through on your commitment to run in the morning, you did what you had agreed and planned on.. she did NOT, so now it's up to her to contact you and explain, apologize, or whatever..

 

Remember do NOT initiate contact with her.

 

By the way, it is "romantic" to run up the hill and watch the sunrise.

[Danny_W]

I disagree. I think you should contact her, not to have a go but just to make sure she knows you're ok with it. Maybe she's really annoyed at herself and thinks you don't want to know her anymore because she made a mistake. Sorry is a pretty hard word to say sometimes so she's probably advoiding it.

[blender]

Respectfully "Danny W", I disagree with you, I don't think he should be "okay with it" unless she respectfully explains and apologizes. Why is it "okay" for someone to ignore you, not show up, and then not even contact you to explain??? That's not "okay".. Sure, it can be "okay" if SHE chooses to be mature and respectful enough to contact him and explain...

 

Because he's already left message, and he called to say he was there, and now it's her responsibility to walk through her own "fear" and to contact him.

 

There is no reason for him to "contact her".. not right now.. I'd give it some time... she's a big girl and if she is in fact feeling "weird about it, or uncomfortable" she will need to work through those feelings in her own timing, and will contact him when she does..

 

If he calls her now, she might feel "pressured" and "not yet ready" to discuss it.. so it might be best for him to just wait it out for a few days and give her a respectful chance to contact him and explain...

[Danny_W]

They're not boyfriend and girlfriend. Friends blow eachother off all the time. It shouldn't be a big deal. I would just call and make it into a joke and just be relaxed about it. If it's bothering you call her. Don't sit about wondering what she's thinking.

[littleman]

okay,

so she just called, and it turnes out her alarm didnt go off....so yah. she apologized, and i guess i'm feeling better.

 

thanks for the help guys.

[blender]

It's not so bad to take a few days to "wonder what she's thinking" it's called respectfully giving someone the chance and space to make a choice to contact you... he's already left a message...and she now can choose to contact him.. it's not up to him to take emotional responsibility to alleviate HER fear.. because she might just not want to talk to him at all.. who knows, or she just overslept and is trying to gather up the courage to call him and explain.. I'd give it some time first.. wait, respectfully give her the space to reach out and explain.. that is the mature thing to do..

[blender]

Aww, how great... I thought that's what it was, and you can be so proud of yourself for giving her the chance to do the respectful thing by calling you and explaining.. good for you, and good for her...

[Danny_W]

That's good mate. Glad it all worked out.