winks vs. actual message

[deejay74]

a lot of dating sites give you the option to send a "wink" or something similar to show that you are interested in someone.

 

i have a question, mostly for the ladies.

 

what would you more likely respond to: a wink, or an actual message sent to you?

 

i've tried the "wink" thing before a couple of times and didn't get a response.

 

thanks in advance.

[Batya33]

I might respond to a wink but would be far more likely to respond to an actual message - I would assume he sent winks to many people and would prioritize responding to him accordingly.

[Ash]

If you want to show interest then respond with a message about something in the person's profile rather than sending a generic wink. That way the recipient will know that you cared enough to at least read what they had written.

[teeters]

I would an actual message. It shows interest and that you took the time out to notice her and send a message. Any clown can wink.

[deejay74]

thanks for the quick responses, everyone. that's what i thought - that a message is better than a wink.

 

so what's the point of the "winks" then?

[blue-eyedspacemonkey]

I suppose they work well for someone who is shy/doesn't know what to say/doesn't want to come accross as too keen, but personally, I would rather receive a message as it shows more interest than just clicking a button.

[Ash]

You can wink back at somebody who sent you a message although again, a proper reply is better. If you don't have time to write when you're quickly scanning your account this can be a short term acknowledgement until you do have time.

 

Sometimes you can wink at somebody you already know. Sort of like saying "Hi" or nodding as you pass in the hall in real life.

 

Sometimes the level of access on a system is controlled (by paying and becoming a full featured member) so you may not be able to write a message. In that case a wink may be the only way to go.

 

Finally, you can wink at somebody if you want to give them an indication you appove of something but aren't particularly looking to start a conversation.

[RayKay]

Winks are just to see if there is mutual interest before spending money on the message (at least depending on the site...on some you can do both without extra expense).

 

The three times I actually dated someone from online for at least a few months, it was after they winked/smiled AND sent a message almost right after.

 

My boyfriend, I winked at him first on one site, but neither of us were paying there, so he found me on another site, sent me a smile there, and sent me a great brief but interesting message right after as he did not want me to pass over the wink

 

Sometimes winks get lost too, in the shuffle as it does not remind you there are new ones, messages stand out more!

 

When I was online dating, I took the same approach; I would wink/smile but if I was REALLY interested in someone's profile, I would send a message too.

[Aurian]

Some sites you have to pay per message. Thus you might send a wink first and if you get one back, then it might be worth your while to pay to send a message! (otherwise that's a few credits wasted on someone who isn't interested)

 

I always look at the winks I receive and respond with a return wink if I like the profile. Sometimes they get back to me with an email after that and we take it from there, but most don't follow up. I get the feeling that some people just collect em

[Ash]

I must admit, I always liked getting winks particularly if I didn't initiate the contact ... but then I'm a guy so they did tend to be few and far between.

[lizziebee]

Ok this may seem kind of boggled but when my future bf appeared on my "Cupid List" I was a little unnerved by his appearance what with the bike and leathers and his gorgeous good looks, so I timidly winked at him. If I had seen him in person in public and did not know him I would have subtly gazed but not wink...He winked back and wrote something short and sweet immediately...I guess it is kind of like the phrase 'with a wink and a smile' wink if you wish but follow up as well....good luck