need help quick

[xoxcrk]

my girlfriend and i have been together for almost a year we got engaged over the holidays. when we got together she had a STD from her x and she had it taken care of when we started to date. I asked a close friend if there was anything that i could do to help her get threw it and she didn't want me to talk to anybody about it. She found out the other day and now she doesn't know if she can trust me and still want to be together. How do I tell her that i was just trying to see if there was anything else i could do to help her get threw it.

[puff.tm.dragon]

You lost her trust. That is a key component of a healthy relationship. Even if you did it under good intentions, she did not ask for it. Of all things an STD. That is a huge deal in terms of secrecy.

[Hope75]

my girlfriend and i have been together for almost a year we got engaged over the holidays. when we got together she had a STD from her x and she had it taken care of when we started to date. I asked a close friend if there was anything that i could do to help her get threw it and she didn't want me to talk to anybody about it. She found out the other day and now she doesn't know if she can trust me and still want to be together. How do I tell her that i was just trying to see if there was anything else i could do to help her get threw it.

 

Can you explain to her as you did to us that you confided in a close friend on how to help her deal with it, before she asked you not to tell anyone?

 

It's not as though you were blabbing it out to everyone.

 

I don't know if this friend told others or how it got out to your girl, but I think your only error was not telling her right away when she asked you to keep it quiet that you had already told your friend, because you were looking for advice.

 

Now, your best bet is to be honest and hope for the best.

[gfein347]

Hope-

 

Based on what the OP wrote, we can't be certain if he confided in his friend before or after his girlfriend asked him for confidentiality.

 

To the OP, which is correct? When you talked to your friend about this, had your girlfriend already told you that she didn't want you to tell anyone?

[Hope75]

Hope-

 

Based on what the OP wrote, we can't be certain if he confided in his friend before or after his girlfriend asked him for confidentiality.

 

To the OP, which is correct? When you talked to your friend about this, had your girlfriend already told you that she didn't want you to tell anyone?

 

Ah, I read over the post again and I see you are correct.

 

Well...... this sort of changes things, doesn't it?

 

Even if he had the best of intentions, if she asked him not to say anything and he did, than yes, I'd be upset, and that may strongly affect my ability to trust him in the future.

 

Thanks for pointing that out!

[xoxcrk]

she told me after I had already asked my friend.

[gfein347]

Ahh, ok. Well I think when she told you that, you should've informed her right away that you had already asked someone their opinion on the matter.

 

However, this is much better than the other scenario, so I think an apology, along with a demonstration that you're truly sorry (and that you're completely trustworthy) will go a long way in repairing your relationship.