feel sad and frustrated

[Rainy]

been living with my fiance nearly two years now before i moved to be with him he made the effort to go out with me to the cinema and for meals out, we only go to the pub or have dinner out when we go out with his friends, i have asked him a few times to go to the cinema or out for a meal and it never happens,

 

he is just happy to play on his computer or game station and it makes me feel angry as all he is interested in is these bloody games.

 

he will go out on a saturday to the town with me but we dont do anything special

 

just wondered if anyone else suffers like this and if there is any tips to overcome this

[eleanorrigby1]

My friend is going through something similar. She is staying with me tonight. Decided to take a few days out.

 

She said she is 'bored'. She lives with her boyfriend, they just got a mortgage, rented together for about 3 years and she sits in the kitchen watching her soaps while he sits i the living room drinking beer watching football.

 

they dont particularly row really, it isnt like they 'fell out'. they go out of a weekend and get drunk and have fun, but never go out for nice meals together, never curl up on the sofa holding hands watching a film or just soaps. they dont compromise.

 

Why dont you say to your boyfriend "Okay i know you like playing computer games... why dont we play one together and if I play on your computer for an hour or so, will you come and watch a film with me?"

 

He is your fiancee, this means you trust him enough to want to marry him/. You know him enough to be able to talk to him Honestly. say to him "I want us to rekindle the spark.. im afraid that you might get bored or... vice versa...."

 

Tell him you want to have a 'date' night, even if its just once a month where you go out for a meal together.

 

I have had to do something similar. My boyfriend and i are very tactile and we do sit and watch TV together holding hands or snuggled up close. However i work full time and go to college two evenings in the week, i also work one evening and one weekend day. So when we are together we kinda flop on the sofa watch some TV and pass out.

 

I have told him, I dont want us to get bored of each other, we live together, laundry, cleaning the bathroom.. its gets mundane, we are tired, we are busy, but we need to remember why we agreed to move in together in the first place.

 

We have agreed to go out more together, alone. Sunday afternoons if i am free we go for drives (doesnt cost anything - just the petrol), or we go for a walk, then nip into the pub for a drink and a chat.

 

Even if we only spend 3 hours together, just DO something!

 

If you love each other you need to compromise and please each other.

 

good luck

[Rainy]

thanks for your posts. when we are talking i will put forward your idea and see what happens

[ghost69]

you should kick him in the nuts. that will get his attention from the game. or tell him that he can play with his paddle and walk out. lol, jk.

 

you need to sit him down. discuss why he play so many games. if he was like this before you got engaged, then there really isn't much you can say. you already knew. but if this was after you got engaged or started getting more serious, he may be using it as an outlet. it is easier to play a video game than hold a relationship. that is 100% true. unless it's pacman. that game is hard. j/k. you need to come to terms with him. it seems that now that you are engaged it's like he 'has' you already and you aren't leaving. you shouldn't get married if you are bothered by something like this. it's not a relationship. it's more like a buddy that comes over and plays your games. i'm sorry, but a woman is more interesting than my xbox. my last gf loved playing video games. we would play together; but we both enjoyed it. i would only play if she was at work and i was bored, or she was working on her college stuff. i'm not a gamer and totally into that though. i have other priorities like my job, working out, etc. games are last. it's to pass the time until the weekend rolls around. then party. maybe you just need to think of some things that are exciting for both of you to get him away from it. maybe it would be fun for you to sit down and try a game with him. then he can try something new for him that you like to do. you know, compromise. it will work that way.

 

hope that helps.

 

[eleanorrigby1]

wow what you just said took me back to a pat relationship! my ex used to play o his computer all the time. I would go round and he would be playing it, I would lie on the bed and read a book whilst he played his golf games and he would every now and again stroke my head and say "Alright?" and I just kinda nodded thinking... "arent i more interesting?"

 

Finally one day he said "I dont think im inlove with you... " and that was that!

[ghost69]

you should have left guy earlier. i have no idea why people wait so long to finally give up. if it's not what you are looking for and you feel uncomfortable, i'd say 90% of the time it isn't worth it all together. never lower your standards or change what you want because you like a few things about someone.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................