why is it that i cant accept that he is a selfish jerk??

[confusedangel]

we've been broken up for 5 months. we both had faults and i know i hurt him bad but he hurt me no less. i apoligized for my actions and hope that we can be friends but he ignored me for the last 5 months. somehow i still cannot accept him as this selfish person that only thinks of himself and still think of him as a caring person. wat is wrong wiht me?

[ellie18]

just ignore him he sucks you shouldnt even be friends with some like that hes probably got some new girl. You dont even need someone like that in your life there are so many good caring people out there. screw him. dont think about him (I know its hard!!) go out to a party and find an awesome guy!

[Caldus]

Even as a guy, I am experiencing the same thing as you right now. She was a selfish ***** when it all comes down to it, but why am I still into her? Our emotions override our ability to look at the situation rationally. That's all it really comes down to. I am going through the same thing so you're not alone.

[pacopaco]

Our emotions override our ability to look at the situation rationally. That's all it really comes down to.

 

I completely agree.

[need2bme]

I agree too, but maybe some people cannot be friends. Why should my ex get to be the good person in all of this and keep her fairy tale alive as if she had no part in this. Why does she still get to have all of me, with no emotional investment?

 

She wants me as a relief valve for her and I will not be that.

[terk2021]

we've been broken up for 5 months. we both had faults and i know i hurt him bad but he hurt me no less. i apoligized for my actions and hope that we can be friends but he ignored me for the last 5 months. somehow i still cannot accept him as this selfish person that only thinks of himself and still think of him as a caring person. wat is wrong wiht me?

 

I am not sure of the specifics, but you said you hurt him. Many times it's hard to remain friends with someone you were in love with. I think there is only 1 ex that I have that I remained friends with. When relationships end, they typically end for a reason...

[caro33]

Who broke up with who?

 

Sometimes you just can't stay friends with people who you loved, at least not until you are actually at the point where it doesn't matter anymore. It sounds like you are both hurting, not that he doesn't care.

 

If you are still in love with him but he wants space it probably worth taking it even if you don't understand his motivations. You are not likely to be able to get past this if there is constant updates or interaction. Perhaps that's what he's thinking also.

[lizziebee]

I understand you hurt eachother in this whole 5 month relationship and never talked about your problems with each other when you were often fighting? Try to remember what the fights were about. I saw on other posts that you had said you found him on Myspace? You had wanted him to post pics of the two of you? Now, aren't you glad you did not! You need to pull yourself away from this emotional pull you have allowed him to have and move on as you have said he has. Sometimes it is easier to believe the bad in people. Maybe he does not want to hurt you and tell you he is involved with someone who is not his ex? Maybe he is involved with his work. Nevertheless, it seems to me that he has successfully NC'd you and it is driving you crazy. Now, you have to pretend (for today/tonight wherever you are LOL) that you are NC'ng him. What if he knows that there is no way he can talk to you because he knows you still love him but he does not want to hurt you by telling you it does not go both ways? Would you rather have him say right out to you that he does not love you...anymore...or worse? Sounds like you guys had a pretty tempremental relationship do you really want to carry that into your new future...without him?! Live it up girl! Go make new friends, find good people and surround yourself with family that loves you! Life is too short. Good luck

[Juliana]

Isn't he just doing what so many people on this site recommend? Isn't this just "no contact" to enable him to get over his own pain?

 

You can choose to view it as selfish if you want to, but one thing is certain: It isn't about you. So don't let it get to you. If he's chosen not to speak to you anymore, he's going to have to accept that that means the end of the friendship as well. There's a fine line between no contact and being jerked around. Get on with your life and don't imagine that anything he's doing is meant to communicate anything to you other than what it already has: He's putting his needs completely ahead of yours.