To call or not to call

[ItsYourChoice]

So to those of you who might have seen my last post a couple days ago..Ive been seeing a guy for a couple weeks and we get along well thus far.

 

Anyhow he had a long work day, but i called him after my classes and we spoke 5-10 minutes and he had to go as he'd recently got out of work and wanted to shower and eat. ....He called about an hour later and I had fallen asleep.

 

This morning I sent a text wishing him a better day, but no reply (though it didnt really NEED to be replied to especially if hes busy.)

 

SO do I call him tonight as Ill be near his place after having happy hour with some colleagues? Or let him call again..he was the last to call. Also if youll remember if I see him tonight itll be 4 nights in one week and I dont want to be uber clingy.

[Massari]

I don't think its clingy (damn I hate that word)!! just call him if you feel like it say you just wanted to say hi and see how he is and his day went. I think its actually really sweet. if you do so.

[Day_Walker]

wait for him to call

[Boughs]

Yeah let him call.

[anggrace]

I personally think if you want to call him, call him. If a guy gets turned off with the fact that you are showing interest, then I think your better of without him. I dont care for these rules people have of how to act. You should do what feels right.

[Batya33]

Doing what "feels right" is a bit difficult when things are new and you have a high level of interest - that often translates to "giving into insecurities." Calling him again would be for you not for him - to see if he still is interested and that is a bit selfish in my opinion. I am not a big fan of texts early on either - particularly if you rationalize that they don't "count" as initiating contact - they do. Let him miss you a little, let him make the next move and I think it is too "girlfriend like" to call someone you are dating casually just because you're in the neighborhood.

[Batya33]

I personally think if you want to call him, call him. If a guy gets turned off with the fact that you are showing interest, then I think your better of without him. I dont care for these rules people have of how to act. You should do what feels right.

 

It's one thing to show interest and another not to respect a person's time and life enough to give him or her the chance to return your call. As I mentioned most people early on are insecure when they have a high level of interest so it is good to have guidelines to remind yourself not to be clingy or suffocate the other person with multiple phone calls or emails.

[ChocoBB]

This is a problme I always semm to have what is the right momwnt to call guy. it bothers me still that a girl should wait on the guy because its kinda old fashion but to be honest with you , I never know when or when not to call. Just wait and see what happens...let him call

[Batya33]

Why is old fashioned necesarily bad? Hot fudge sundaes are old fashioned but yummy, etc. Most men I know are flattered by being called and pursued in the beginning but when it comes to who they pick to be involved in a relationship with they pick the woman they pursued - it is a traditional role, true but most men I know are the most comfortable in that traditional role and it is the slight challenge/intrigue that helps increase the sparks.

[Day_Walker]

Why is old fashioned necesarily bad?

 

Old fashioned is bad becuse that presupposes that the old ways are good. It is the status quo and there is no room for change. If he is a man that likes the traditional roll then he will keep calling because that is what the expects to do. He expects that he has to earn her attention through his showing more and more interest.

 

Of course this assumes that he is the traditional type but I believe that she will not lose any ground by allowing him to contact her. Of course she can contact him it is completely up to her.

[Batya33]

That is not how I define "old fashioned"- I refer to doing the status quo without reevaluating its worth as stagnant, narrow minded, etc. My boyfriend is traditional because he likes it that way, not because I expect him to be that way, and if it didn't work for him he wouldn't blindly follow it, he'd take an approach that he was comfortable with.