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Innocence


RegallyBlonde
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So I am having problems having guys stick around.

 

But it's not what you think...

 

I'm pretty innocent and well, it seems to me like time after time guys lose interest because of who I am. I'm not as naive as I used to be, but I still like to keep a lot of my innocence. After all I'm only 22.

 

Even if I don't say that I am, I give off that vibe. I'm pretty honest and don't try to fool guys by acting innocent because I really am.

 

I just get so frustrated sometimes and wish someone could like me for me. Many guys are very attracted to me, of course looks only go so far. And it doesn't help that I look younger than I am.

 

Tell me, do any of you have a similar problem? What are all your thoughts?

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Well not now but I do remember a time when I felt that way myself and I dont know what that is about exactley but it is almost like there is a stigma attached to being too innocent. I think that a lot of guys tend to shy away from females that are more innocent than not for a lot of different reasons. number one, I think men feel a lot more accountable to a woman that is more innocent than they are, if they feel like they are a lot more experienced than you how will they feel if it doesn't work out? I think it makes them feel like they took advantage of a nice girl who just didn't have enough experience but....... on the other hand it may also be that a lot of different guys want a girl who is experienced enough to hold their own. It requires a lot less thought on their part. They don't have to constantly be thinking about what they are doing and whether or not it will have a major impact on the girl or not. Women would be surprised at how much men really do think about the way they interact with their mate. There are also guys who just feel like they are taking advantage of a girl who is really innocent. Just a few things to think about. Hope this help a little. E.

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I'm pretty innocent and well, it seems to me like time after time guys lose interest because of who I am. I'm not as naive as I used to be, but I still like to keep a lot of my innocence. After all I'm only 22.

 

Hi there!

 

What does that mean in reality though? Do you mean sexually innocent, or are you talking about a general outlook in life, sort of being a bit naive and optimistic?

 

Maybe the guys you are with sense that you are not into games etc, but want a proper long-term relationship, and steer clear of commitment? Which is good for you, actually - stops you getting hurt!

 

I don't know, I think there is someone gorgeous around the corner for you, and you'll be glad not to be entangled with a player, but can fall for him head over heels. Interesting to think about what you mean by innocent, though, and whether this is YOUR interpretation, or if it's something you've been told.

 

Another thought - what sort of blokes are you going for? Are you going for the bad boy type? It just seems that someone like you is exactly what most of the young single men on Enotalone are desperate to meet!

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Thank you for your concern.

 

The thing is I just don't want to hurry up and "get experienced" if you get what I mean.

 

It takes time. It takes maturity. And in someways I feel that I am pretty mature for my age, but in this case it isn't attractive because I am still innocent. I don't know what to say. I don't want to change for anyone else, but I've been so frustrated lately.

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I am pretty sexually innocent though I have been physically intimate in some ways, but I'd rather not go into details.

 

Also, I'm not looking for a bad boy, but a gentleman, which of course is hard to find. Ultimately, looks don't matter to me but I'd like there to be an attraction and someone's personality can totally make me attracted to them. I value honesty and respect so much, but it really is hard to find.

 

My outlook on life is pretty positive. People tend to see me that way. I don't have baggage and I try to learn from my mistakes and become a better person. I am also very old-fashioned, which of course is contrary to the majority.

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Hey girl,

 

I don't know if it is true that it is harder to look for a good guy (rather than the bad boy). None of the men I dated in a serious manner were bad boy. I think that if you think it is harder to find, and decide beforehand that you are oldfashioned, looking for something that rare, etc, I think you are not doing yourself a favour.

 

What IS rare is true love I think. So looking for love is frustrating, but good guys you can meet all over the place. What it comes down to I guess is to what type you are attracted versus the type you wish to be in a relationship with. If you wish for respect, gentleman like manners, but you are attracted to bad boys, I'd recommend to date guys that just seem to be honest and true gentlemen even if the chemistry is not there at first.

 

Be careful for 'wolves in sheepclothes'-- bad boys (yes they exist as do bad girls ); the guy who will act like a total gentleman to get to only one thing (in your pants). Take your time to find out, as long as you are not intimate with anyone I think it's totally ok to date more people at the same time. I wonder what you mean by 'innocence'. Are you sure that is what people perceive when they see you, or is it something you want them to see? How does that influence your search for a good partner?

 

Arwen

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WOW...thank you so much Arwen.

 

It's true. Though I am not attracted to the bad boy, I still think I'm naive enough to assume that any guy that acts like a gentleman in the beginning really is.

 

I'm not sure exactly how people perceive me, but they definitely see me as a good girl. I am pretty honest when it comes to showing who I am and I try to be as real as I can. But maybe it is what I want them to see since I don't want to hide who I am. I'm sure there are times when I try too hard... When it comes to it though I do not show off and act like I'm perfect since I know I am FAR from it.

 

I am who I am and yes lately I've been really disliking myself. But that just comes to show how emotional and impatient I can be sometimes.

 

Lately, I've been thinking that it will take forever to find a true gentleman due to past experiences with the opposite sex. But I'm only basing it on what happened in the past and I just need to keep that positive attitude and faith that everything is going to be just fine...

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