Advice Please

[tiraffee39]

me and my ex broke up 3 weeks ago, i broke up with her before i found out she was pregnant. it wasnt a nasty break up, just miscommuniction. but i tried everything for her to forgive me but she wouldnt. i said something that reminded her of a old ex that treated her very badly, i told her to keep the engagement ring as a parting gift. thats all that was said, she believes that words are stronger than actions and i dont, i have always, except for this once treated her very well. she will still talk to me if i talk first but i have nc for a week now. its hard but i know its for the best for me, but i want to find out how her doctors appointment went, should i talk to her. and 1 more thing why is she making sure i know how happy she is that its over between us, how can she not care, everything was perfect before this happen, i dont understand why throw away something so good over childish words

[HarleyHunny]

If you're going to involved in the child's life and be a responsible parent, then you will have to step up to the plate, act like a grown up, and do the right thing. Begin with a phone call to tell her what you're intentions are and responsibilities will be......Best of luck.

[tiraffee39]

she already knows what my intentions are, i already have 2 children that i take care of, and lives with me. i take care of my responsiblities, i dont know if its to early or if i should give her more time

[friscodj]

she already knows what my intentions are, i already have 2 children that i take care of, and lives with me. i take care of my responsiblities, i dont know if its to early or if i should give her more time

 

I think there is a lot going on from her end and it is all probably very overwhelming for her. She is likely scared, confused, angry, etc. all topped off with the elevated hormones of pregnancy.

 

I would say deliver a written message to her, letting her know you understand her position, understand she is going through a lot, and that you will be there for her in any way when she is ready for you to be. She will see the written message, either electronic or in ink, and it will remain as a reminder to her, should she choose not to delete it.

 

So in short, show you understand her position and feelings, give her freedom in her decisions, and give it all time.

[tiraffee39]

thanks i sent her a letter telling her i understand her position and if she needs anything to contact me, and if she doesnt want to talk to me let her mother know and i will get it, also told her i would be here for her in anyway. i just hope i didnt screw up things any worse than they can be, its been since jan 12 since the nc

[friscodj]

thanks i sent her a letter telling her i understand her position and if she needs anything to contact me, and if she doesnt want to talk to me let her mother know and i will get it, also told her i would be here for her in anyway. i just hope i didnt screw up things any worse than they can be, its been since jan 12 since the nc

 

I think you did good. You didn't screw anything up with this and I have a feeling with some time and distance, she'll come around.

[tiraffee39]

well my ex contacted me lastnight, a surprise to me, but we talked, well she talked and everytime i tried to talk she snapped at me,and i didnt talk about our relationship at all she keep bringing it up, is this a normal thing to have so much anger towards me, she tells me she doesnt care what i do or who i see, but she is calling my friends to find out were i go and who i see, any one have any advice please

[tiraffee39]

need some advice any thoughts please

[friscodj]

Hey T-

 

I think the hormones of pregnancy are either creating or exacerbating her insanity. Sounds pretty normal for a situation like this.

 

I think your option right now, while she is carrying your child and with your desire to remain in her life is to proverbially "love it or leave it", sorry to say. You can certainly stand up for yourself and tell her you don't deserve to be snapped at, things like this, but the overall picture here won't change much I don't think.