Worries About Post-Secondary School

[glegend]

Hi there everyone, hows it going? Now I am trying to help one of my friends out. Here's his story. He's done his application's for university and college, and just waiting for replies. Now the unviersities and colleges he has applied to are a few hours away from home. So he would be living there in their dorm housing. First year students have guarantee housing. Now he has a few concerns which worry him (and me cause he's a really nice guy and a true friend to meand my girlfriend [he sticks around through thick and thin]). Now the housing they have requires you to share a room with someone else, so that means he will have a room mate based on a questionaire he will have to do. Now his concerns have to do with his personal belongings and of course himself. What he fear is that he will be made fun of. He feels he'll be made fun of because of his computer. It is a bit outdated (367mhz amd k-6, 10gb hard drive, 192 mb ram, cd drive, 64 mb video card, and windows xp). But thats all he has which he treasures like and it does the job right? Yea. [i offered to give him some old memory that is compatable with his system and a hard drive, its not a big hard drive nor alot of memory but its something) But it will be a bit outdated compared to the other students computers which they will compare and make fun of him which it happens right now in high school. For his cell phone package, he is currently on pay as you. For his tv, It's a inexpensive 20" television (retail is 89.99). His radio, it is a cassette stereo with a/v input jacks for a external cd player or mp3 which he plugs in his portable cd player (like a walkman but its not a walkman its White-Weistinghouse one retail is like 30 dollars) and my ipod. His iPpod is a 512mb shuffle so he fears he may be made fun of it because its the lowest one on the assembly line or was how the lowest is the 1GB. His computer desk is a hand-me-down and is abit weird looking cause it is a counter-top on 2 night table style shelfs.

I dont know what to do, cause its really upsetting him like thinking of this. But he doesn't have all the luxuries that others have. (Which I can relate on 'casue I don't have so many of the luxuries that other kids have. Ok I have my SUV, that would be the only other luxury that I have that others don't.) Yes he has a fuly paid off house with food always on the table. But the way things are right now money is abit tight and he can't afford to go waste money on things like a new computer every two years or buy a more expensive tv.(Which is the same with me money in my family is tight but we make do) Should he be worrying about these things? Is there anythign I can do to like talk to him and maybe help him out. He's a really good friend of mine and me and my girlfriend care about him alot. So any advice would be greatly appreciated

[sophie274]

I don't think he should worry. Yes, most students will probably have laptops, but I would never make fun of anyone for that - in fact, I doubt most people will notice. Hopefully they have a bit more of a life than going around comparing size of memory. I can't believe how much technological info is in that list - I have no interest in cd player or tv models whatsoever! Maybe it's a guy/girl thing, I don't know ...

 

However, if he feels inferior/insecure, it could lead to some social awkwardness which could make it harder for him to make friends. He definitely needs to convince himself that he will not have a problem, and then he won't.

[annie24]

I don't think he should worry at all. I mean, plenty of people don't have ipods or laptops or computers and have to use the computers at the library. that isn't a big deal at all. why is your friend so worried about this?

 

college isn't like high school, where people are comparing who has what car, what purse, etc..... in college, most people are broke, eat ramen noodles you buy for 10 cents a pack, etc..... i know lots of people who were dead broke in college and took all sorts of odd jobs to pay for books. so I don't think he needs to worry about his 512 kb shuffle.

[laboheme]

I would love to be able to say, "Hey, no worries!" but it all depends on the school. I had the misfortune of attending a school where the brand of your jeans determined your social place. Needless to say, I didn't stick around. But sadly, while we like to think that college is different from high school, you still have those judgmental people....and the people who can get all the frivolous things in life because their parents are paying for it all.

 

I'm sounding really pessimistic here, am I not?

 

The way I look at things, yes, your friend may run into people who judge him for not having the most up-to-date things. And yes, it will be painful to deal with them. But the upside is, it will weed out the people who aren't worth being friends with, because after all, the people that he'd want to have in his life wouldn't make fun of him for things like that.

 

And a very important thing is not to dwell on it! Chances are, most people won't pay attention to the specs of his computer or his cell phone plan unless he starts complaining about them. If he acts like he's ashamed of what he has, then others may start thinking that maybe it's with good reason and treat him accordingly. But if he doesn't let it get to him, others won't care. So he should definitely have some self-confidence and talk to people with a big smile on his face...Impress them with his dazzling personality...and once he does, nobody will notice the things that he thinks are upsetting (which they are not -- not everyone has an iPod shuffle!)