jengh Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Well, my boyfriend of ten months and I decided it was time for a break a few weeks back. It was fine to see other people, etc. I just figured we'd get back together. But then I met someone... whether or not this will even develop into anything, I don't know. I also really don't care at the moment. This morning, he said something that hit a nerve; something about him being "charming". I told him he's not. He asked, then why are you with me? I responded with "I dont know" and then started listing things. One thing led to another and I officially broke up with him. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. An hour ago I was sobbing, now I just feel numb. I love him, but I don't know if im IN love with him anymore. I think I am, but I just don't know. We're too different. So now I'm sitting here staring at the screen, listening to Ani DiFranco and thinking.... I don't really know what my point is here....just felt like talking (typing). My roommate, even though she KNOWS what's going on, has chosen to have sex in her bedroom. Any comments would be greatly appreciated. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel...
princess-luce Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Hey there! I'm sorry to hear about your break up. I don't think there's anything you're "supposed" to feel.. people take break ups differently. It was obviously the right thing to do, if you don't know why you're with someone then in the end maybe it's best not to be. But regardless of whether or not you are "in love" with him.. you still love the guy and so whatever caused the break up it's gonna hurt to be without a person that's been such a part of your life for so long, but i promise it gets easier. Stay friends and keep in contact, don't lose him from your life all togther and talk to each other about your feelings, the chances are if you're feeling it, he is too. Lots of love xxx
Day_Walker Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 All you can do is make a decision with the information you have at hand. The wounds are still fresh and as time passes you will think more clearly about this. I cannot tell you that you made the right decision but I can say that you made a decision based on the information you have at and and for you it was enough to make the decision you did.
jengh Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 Hey there! I'm sorry to hear about your break up. I don't think there's anything you're "supposed" to feel.. people take break ups differently. It was obviously the right thing to do, if you don't know why you're with someone then in the end maybe it's best not to be. But regardless of whether or not you are "in love" with him.. you still love the guy and so whatever caused the break up it's gonna hurt to be without a person that's been such a part of your life for so long, but i promise it gets easier. Stay friends and keep in contact, don't lose him from your life all togther and talk to each other about your feelings, the chances are if you're feeling it, he is too. Lots of love xxx thank you for your fast reply. that was really touching (yeah, im a sap) and made me tear-up
jengh Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 All you can do is make a decision with the information you have at hand. The wounds are still fresh and as time passes you will think more clearly about this. I cannot tell you that you made the right decision but I can say that you made a decision based on the information you have at and and for you it was enough to make the decision you did. thanks.... overall, I feel pretty decent... maybe because the reality hasn't kicked in yet....We've had a lot of conflicts (i've posted about a few in the past) that were unresolved (both of us are stubborn). I hope it's for the best.
Meow18 Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 I think what you are feeling is normal. As much as you might miss him, you feel like there's something better out there for you. Especially since you met someone else, even if it doesn't work out with this new guy, you know that it's possible to find happiness in another relationship. Just take time to get through this. It's for the better, otherwise you wouldn't have done it.
Hope75 Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Hey Jenn, So sorry to hear about your breakup. Maybe it would be a good idea to get outside and take a little walk- to get some fresh air and get away from your insensitive room mate. It sounds as though even though it is painful to think of being broken up, you weren't certain of your feelings for this guy after 10 months together. So perhaps this was a good thing- even though it will still hurt for a little while. Your immediate response of "I don't know" for reasons you were with him- kind of shows that you might have been hanging on for the wrong reasons. You will get through this. Now go for a walk and clear your head and open up your stuffy nose.
ImThatGirl Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Jen, hugs to you girl! I know the feeling of numbness and hoping that the reality of it won't hit you in the face a little later and hoping you did the right thing. You mentioned you have met someone else. Now - no judgment here at all. But if you have met someone else and are curious as far as where that might go, it seems like your heart just isn't in the relationship with your bf / ex anymore. If I remember correctly he was far from charming on many occasions? Could it be that you've been mentally detaching but staying with him out of habit or security?
jengh Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 thanks... i think i will go clear my head... too bad it's so freaking cold out I just made a big move and I think it may have affected things. Before I moved, I didn't so much as THINK of another guy, let alone decide to take a break from the relationship... As soon as I moved, though, I guess I realized what else was out there... (it's always been a long distance relationship, now though im actually a little closer) He's substantially older than me--27. I'm 20. I'd like to find someone my age who doesn't find my friends "too immature". He hangs out with 40 and 50 year olds for god's sake!
jengh Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 If I remember correctly he was far from charming on many occasions? Could it be that you've been mentally detaching but staying with him out of habit or security? yes.... you do remember correctly... he wouldn't stand up for me, never complimented me, etc. Overall, though, he is a good guy...just not for me, im beginning to think...
ImThatGirl Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 I think maybe you are at a better point of determining that he is not for you. Does that mean it's not going to hurt? Probably not. But get out there and breath in some of that cold, brisk air. Clear your head and breath in the liberation.......
jengh Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 I feel like i need to get up but i just dont even feel like getting out of bed. ugh. I didn't think it'd be this hard. I just figured...i dont know... i knew we were finished weeks ago. I should've just left it at that.
lady00 Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 i knew we were finished weeks ago. I should've just left it at that. I think you did the right thing by ending it officially...being in limbo isn't fun for anyone so you did the respectful thing.
ImThatGirl Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 Jen, it's going to be hard, hun. You got used to being with him and having him as a part of your life. You know, even bad habits are hard to break.
Hope75 Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 He's substantially older than me--27. I'm 20. I'd like to find someone my age who doesn't find my friends "too immature". He hangs out with 40 and 50 year olds for god's sake! There is definitely a big difference in how much you grow and change from 20 to 27. It sounds as though he is just in a different place then you are- and you should be. But that isn't an excuse to treat you poorly, either.
jengh Posted January 23, 2007 Author Posted January 23, 2007 Thank you everyone for your replies. I'm feeling calm finally... I even laughed. I think things are okay.... yeah....time for a walk
rocio Posted January 23, 2007 Posted January 23, 2007 I just read your other thread, with the conversation between you and Ben. For some reason, it wouldn't let me post in there. Here's what I wanted to say: Let him find some anorexic toothpick if that's really what he wants. It's clear that he doesn't know how to appreciate the beauty of a woman and that's his loss... A huge loss.
jengh Posted January 24, 2007 Author Posted January 24, 2007 god... i cant believe this is actually happening... i usually talk to him 3x a night + text messages.... this is so weird
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