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No sex...ever


smilelikeyoumeanit
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Thank you for all your help and comments, everything is apprecitated. There was alot of talk about asexuality and after reading the definitons it is definatley not what I am, but thank you again for the help on that matter. I do have sexual desires towards the opposite sex, I just repress them and never act on them, and I feel like I should do this the entierty of my life. While I do realize that I am young and my opinions could easily change towards this matter, this is how I currently feel. I don't think i'm doing a very good job of explaning it, but sex just seems wrong... even if I do want to have it, and i don't know why I feel this way, but I do...

 

There are some asexual who do have sexual desire toward the opposite sex but they just don't want to have sex.

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Thank you for all your help and comments, everything is apprecitated. There was alot of talk about asexuality and after reading the definitons it is definatley not what I am, but thank you again for the help on that matter. I do have sexual desires towards the opposite sex, I just repress them and never act on them, and I feel like I should do this the entierty of my life. While I do realize that I am young and my opinions could easily change towards this matter, this is how I currently feel. I don't think i'm doing a very good job of explaning it, but sex just seems wrong... even if I do want to have it, and i don't know why I feel this way, but I do...

 

I am glad that you read about it, now you know it's not like that (it would be equally good if you were, that's not the point of course).

 

 

Why not just accept that it is not something you can imagine doing NOW but just wait how your life turns out to be? Is there any special reason why you think sex is gross? I know that for my ex, it just seemed unnatural, since he didn't have THAT drive that most people have. The first thought I had when he told me though was that maybe he had been abused in the past. I really hope that this is not the case for you. Things may change about your interest in sex later in life, or they may not. Either way you are valuable as a person, wanting sex or not, wanting to be celibate or not, it doesn't matter. As long as you live a fullfilling life that makes you happy it is little of other people's business if you have a sex life.

 

If you are attracted to someone, do you want to be intimate at some level?

 

Arwen

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So could this be how you feel now, but something that could change should you meet the right person? I wasn't overly into the whole scene, but then I met my ex, and seriously...I could hardly help it!

 

Also, just a pondering about the consummating the marriage and the Catholic Church....

 

I was raised as a Catholic attended both catholic primary and secondary school and have been going to mass every sunday...since like forever. As I've just stated I'm not exactly a very good catholic girl though. Ahem. But I do know that the Catholic Church says that sex should only occur if you are trying to procreate, and within marriage. Also, part of Catholic marriage is a promise to at least attempt to bring more life into the world. But obviously marriages occur with people later in life or who cannot have children and they know they cannot have children and their marriage is not null and void, because the matter is out of their hands. I'm fully aware that the couple will I think always have sex, but I'm just pointing out that loophole there.

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I'm not a germaphobe or anything like that... I was never taught sex was wrong. On the contrary, my parents talked to me about it and basically told me when I need contraception to come to them. I just don't feel like I could ever be that close or open with someone. I still have...desires? i guess, feelings of sexual attraction more like, to guys *blushes* but I just don't want to act on them....

 

 

it sounds to me that its more about trust issues than actually about sex

Im glad you dont want to have sex with someone you are not that "close or open" with... but hopefully one day you WILL be in a relationship where you dont feel exposed during sexual contact

 

either that or its a challenge for you? To prove to yourself that you are are above bast instincts?

im not tyring to be offensive

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There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel. The only important thing is that you are true to yourself. Whether or not your feelings remain constant on this for your whole life is something that only time will tell. But it does not matter whether they do or they don't, as long as you continue to be honest with yourself and do what makes you happy.

 

I think it is very understandable that your friends repeatedly bring up this topic. Your desires in this matter are likely to be completely foreign to them and thus a considerable challenge to their own concepts. I'm afraid that is something you will just have to accept. All you can do is assure them that you are making these choices because that is what makes you happy. If they are really your friends they will want you to do what makes you happy and eventually be able to accept that your truth is different from their own.

 

The hardest part of this will obviously be to find a partner who fits in with your feelings on this matter. All you can do is be honest and open about yourself to the men you meet. Practically all men are very keen on sex and I think it is unavoidable that many potential relationships will fail and that there is likely to be some heartbreak because of it. It is always difficult for people who have minority desires and yours are definitely those of a very small minority. However, just because your road might be hard, does not make it wrong for you, only difficult. Try not to get into a constricted way of thought, be constantly reflective and open to all the possibilities your truth has to offer you.

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