Ethics - asking out someone as a second choice to the first person.

[Luke Skywalker]

If you were arranging a date with someone, and she wasn't able to show up for practical reasons for the date you suggested, then would you ask someone else as a second choice, or would you just keep that day free since you feel you are jinyxing the waters by doing something like that.

 

What is your take on it?

[annie24]

if you are early in the stages of dating, I see nothing wrong with asking out another girl for the same day. Think of it this way - if you asked one of your friends or cousins to see a movie with you and they said they were busy, and you really wanted to see that movie, you'd probably call up someone else. As long as you two aren't exclusive, I think there is nothing wrong with calling up someone else (unless you tell them, "hey - you are my #2 choice, want to go with me?)

[caro33]

Nothing wrong with it if you want to. Depends if the person you asked first would be hurt that you went with someone else, that is, the expectations you guys have of one another.

 

If no expectations - like annie said, it's early days - then I don't think you are doing the wrong thing or jinxing yourself.

[cantexplain]

hmmm. I think it really depends on where this other person is at with their feelings toward you and their feelings about you taking someone else to the date/event.

 

and at what stage you are.

 

I'd be careful not to share this alternative date as a control thing at worst or even to mean any harm to the other person who really may legitimately also wish to be there with you.

[cpc28655]

if you are early in the stages of dating, I see nothing wrong with asking out another girl for the same day. Think of it this way - if you asked one of your friends or cousins to see a movie with you and they said they were busy, and you really wanted to see that movie, you'd probably call up someone else. As long as you two aren't exclusive, I think there is nothing wrong with calling up someone else (unless you tell them, "hey - you are my #2 choice, want to go with me?)

 

Nothing wrong with it if you want to. Depends if the person you asked first would be hurt that you went with someone else, that is, the expectations you guys have of one another.

 

If no expectations - like annie said, it's early days - then I don't think you are doing the wrong thing or jinxing yourself.

 

hmmm. I think it really depends on where this other person is at with their feelings toward you and their feelings about you taking someone else to the date/event.

 

and at what stage you are.

 

I'd be careful not to share this alternative date as a control thing at worst or even to mean any harm to the other person who really may legitimately also wish to be there with you.

 

I agree with all of these. The only thing I have to add is this: Whatever you do, do not tell the second person that they are the runner up. I'm sure you probably already knew that, but I put it out there anyway.

[charley]

Excellent topic. I'll have to read this thread later when I have time.

 

Based only on the OP, I'd not ask someone else to go on a date the same day, not only for ethics reasons, but also for practical reasons.

 

Do something alone or with a guy friend. I'll read other posts after OP later to learn more. What I posted above comes just from my internal compass.