The way it looks, the way it is…

[sheep]

The way it looks, the way it is…

 

 

Well had that break up of 6 months ago and it still wont stop bugging me. I had a hard time at night a ways back but started working nights and it didn’t seem to be upsetting while I was going to sleep with the sun was up. I think I was to tired to think about much of anything at that point. Today is the first day back on day shifts, the early bird special 4am to 2pm and have no idea what to do with my self. I feel like I should be home! But I cant. She is still so upset at me and still thinks I was cheating on her. Bad part about this is the girl I was talking to behind her back is who I spend most of my time with now. So that really pins the tail.

 

fill u in:

 

And month before we broke up I was talking to another women behind her back at nights. I do know what it looks like if I view this from her point of view. “cheater would pop in my head” I wasn’t! But I couldn’t relay to her what was going on and was upset over that part of me feeling like I had to hide it. Even spoke about it with this other women, ask her for a women’s point of view and how do I tell her. In the time frame I spoke to this other women maybe a 150 times on the cell phone. By what my X told me from the phone, damn it I guessed wrong. That bill comes in in the middle of the month not the end.

 

Now the question is why was I talking to this person so much, its jerry springer time. I might have a 7 year old daughter! And I have a son and daughter myself. I have always wounder about it and that is way I talked to her. Any other case I would have told them I was in a relationship and cut it off “the communication dirty mind u” Right before the phone bill I told my x I wanted to leave and stayed with my parent for a little bit. Around these times I was under a lot of stress with a lost job and me and my x fighting at this point every day I couldn’t take it. The things my X was on me about where little but I took all of it to heart and she can have a hurtful way to her and would say or use your past, family anything to hurt me. And No shi! I was scared of her when it came to fighting like that. Id rather get hit by a bat then to hear her light me up and the best is she talked about me behind my back Now I spending a lot of time with the women I spoke with on the phone and even her helping get past my bottom of the line break down I had for over a month really opened up my eyes to see what true love is, she even would sit up with me “in another state” at late hours in the night. Listening to cry over this women that now had cut me off of every bit of her life and limits me for the time I spend with my daughter. The X basically told me that the whole reason she is acting this way and dragging it in the courts is becuese other the girl I was speaking with. Thats all my X will ever have to me “look at the phone bill, you are a cheater, &^%$ (*&@ *&^%$@!#$%(*&^%$@#$%^&%^&!!!!!!!” beep! You get it!? This all is coasting us thousands of dollars.

 

I know you cant make someone see the truth or make believe there is one there, trust!

 

But how do I deal with this, it hurts to know she feels the way she does about me. Now she is seeing someone else. But I really know the truth and to know she would feel like she made a mistake if she would just listen or even speak with this other women. Do you think she is just using that as a way out. But she wont admit to being with another person. Is she doing that as a safty line? And If I care or love someone else should I just persue them and forget about the family relationship. Not saying my kids but her

[melrich]

Your post is a bit confusing but is the jist of it, you talked to another woman who may have had a son by you about 150 times and your ex found out?