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It's been 7 months since I broke up with my ex. I've been carrying on for those 7 months very well. The first month was hard but it got easier. We were together for 6 months, I ended it because I knew I couldn't be with her the rest of my life.

 

I still think about some of the times we have together, but rarely. Things still remind me of her... songs, things I see, etc. I think about her maybe 1 time a day, sometimes twice... sometimes none.

 

After I go through things like this I tend to feel the need to improve myself... a lot. I made a plan, I'd lose some weight, and work on improving myself. I keep myself motivated to lose weight by planning on going to this event I know she'll be at in June. I continue to use this event in my mind to try and make myself "better". I daydream about this upcoming day multiple times a week.

 

I haven't had the oppurtunity of meeting anyone new yet. I know if I do I'll completely stop thinking about my ex.

 

I just keep working on bettering myself so that one day I can... rub it in her face? I know it's mean, but it's like I want to say to her "Look what you could have had."

 

Stupid question... Am I over her? Am I just psychologically replacing her with something else in my mind? Anybody have any ideas why I'm doing this? I think I have low self esteem, I really do. I shouldn't be doing this, but I look forward to rubbing it in her face so much. If I'm not doing something to improve myself I feel depressed.

 

I'm 17, a senior in highschool. I'm not using my normal screenname because I'm ashamed of everything I'm feeling and asking.

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It is normal. However, who broke up with whom? If she broke up with you, I can understand it. I felt the same way. I want to show my ex and I am much older than you.

 

All it did though, was get us back together in ways we should not have been and made me think she still cared. I got my heart ripped wide open and do not wish that on anyone. She told me she had a new guy. She had this new guy, all the while she was messing around with me again.

 

Get things better in your life, for you. I know it is hard, but look at all you are accomplishing.

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I broke up with her. After that we were going to get back together and she put that to a stop. I'm glad we didn't get back together, it wouldn't have worked out.

 

But I still get these feelings, I feel like a loser. I accomplish a lot more like this. My self esteem goes up knowing while they are just sitting there accomplishing nothing, I'm becoming a much better person... obviously this is contradicting to the thoughts I'm having, but I feel like I'm improving.

 

Would it be wrong to go to this thing? I know I'm not getting together with her, but I just need to feel better about myself.

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You're not going to feel better about yourself. You're going to be very buff, and you're going to look good, but on the inside you're going to be all nasty and wizzled up in your rage. And they'll be able to tell just by looking at you. Real happiness always shows in the eyes. Why don't you do some stuff that isn't related to making someone else hurt, and see how that feels? I mean, is the whole purpose of your life always going to revolve around someone else's opinion of you, or around making someone else feel pain? What the heck for?

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