rantin-help

[I HATE Me]

Well I've been suffering with depression for a few months, I'm holding on at the moment, though I can't tell you how long for. I have some things to do, to sort out. I can't keep pretending that everything will work out, and it will all be ok. I can't even keep a friendship with my best mate working.

 

I have other people I hang around with, but they aren't my mates, they think they are, but after the way they treated me, I can't forget, or forgive, as they all think I have. They have moulded me to be some one, who comes crawling back, is always there for them.

 

I told my mum I was depressed, and she told me it was hormonal, pmt- I don't think pmt causes people to self-harm. I am still battling with , what my mum calls an "eating problem", though I still think I'm fat.I'm 9st 9 and 5'8. I do eat, well some days, because my mum will be on my back about it other wise. And I am having trouble with the fact that, my best mate, thinks it's ok for her, to be depressed and self-harm, but not for me, that I have to get help and she doesn't.

 

I'm still also battling with being suicidal, I want to escape, but don't want to leave my family, I guess that may be why I self-harm. I hate myself, and everything that my life is.

 

 

 

ps ppl I'M A GIRL....

[segagirl]

I think it was very brave and strong of you to talk to your mom. It is very common for parents to give the response back " oh it will be fine"

They seem to have a hard time realizing how serious we are.

 

Now that you have taken that step, go back to your mom and let her know though you love her for her support, you would like to see a therapist of some kind. Just let her know you want to make some changes and think that is your best chance. See you cannot expect your parents to come up with that one on their own!

 

Other than that keep holding on, know you are not alone...that many many of us feel the same way and hold the same type of pain. You just have to keep reaching out and get the support you need.

[Genesis]

Maybe your friend is the reason you feel so bad about yourself. If she wants to hurt herself, maybe she is having a negative affect on you.

I think you should talk to someone at school, church, or your mom again. She may not know how serious your problem is.

 

Maybe if you become a volunteer or help others you will not think so much about your problems. You should ask your mom to take you to a doctor there is no reason to want to hurt yourself just because of your weight or your friends. You can always loose weight and make new friends.

 

Go to a doctor, and see what they can do for you. Life is so wonderful, I can not think of anything that would make me want to end my life. I have gone through death of family members, lose of friends, my weight going up a down, being dumped, having one of my friends steal a boyfriend. Even after all of these things I am still grateful and happy for the life that I have. Think about all the people in the world who sleep on the streets, have no food, do not have a family. Hey you have access to a computer, you are very fortunate and lucky, just remember there are millions maybe even billions of people in the world who would love to trade places with you.

[Mar]

I totally agree with segagirl, you're a rare guy in telling his mom how he's feeling, and I'm proud of you for that! Not to mention the fact that you're being mature in thinking about all of this, how it will affect you and other people, and what you'd lose. BUT DON'T GIVE UP. Everyone's been at that stage at some point......I don't know how old you are, but I went through a period like that for oh.....6 YEARS or so. But it got better. It always does, bottom line. And when it does, you'll be SO thankful you didn't do anything dumb and, worse yet, permanent, so that you couldn't experience the sun after the rain. Just be strong, as you have been....I agree with the suggestion of a therapist. As for your friends......well, I had none worth mentioning for a long, LONG time, and more than made up for it later on. Just hold on, hon, and don't depend so much on other people. (Not that it sounds as if you have been.) I think you're handling this very well (except for the self-harming part, of course) and are doing everything you can to fix the situation. Keep talking to your mom, moms are a GREAT support system and will love you that much more for coming to them instead of hiding things like this. And we're here too, for what that's worth right now, and always ready and willing to listen.

[closer_nin]

Don't Quit... Don't ever give up... Talking to your mom and posting a message out here only tells me that you are stronger than most in the same situation. The self harm stuff needs to stop. If you are struggling and things in life are killing you, stop making it worse by hurting yourself physically. You feel down, emotionally keep it to that level until you can overcome that problem. TRUST yourself. You sound like an intelligent and determined person. Seek PROFESSIONAL HELP. We can advise you and send you our deepest and most sincere wishes and advice, but we can't help you in this forum as a professional can. Lastly, if you have the time... volunteer with work. Sometimes working with the less unfortunate can teach you about true human will and survival in this world. I have worked in the slums of NYC helping people with disease, adversities, and just plain no hope still make it out there. ITs a day to day battle. Your LOVE for your family only tells me how strong you are. Please show that Love for yourself and in turn you can give back more to your family than you ever imagine. Keep talking, and also believe in the better.... Good luck