Is it best to Try or not to Try ?

[4answers]

No contact is for healing, but once passed this stage, is it best to try to get the past partner back and risk them being with another, pushing them away etc or best not to try but let them know your available. or aviod all aspect of contact ?

 

The first one shows that your available but risks the person gameplaying with your feelings till they find another, or pushing them away further because they dont want to communicate with you.

 

The second runs the risk of you being a dormat in the other persons eyes or being seen in the friendship way.

 

The third might push them to look for another because they think you are already doing that.

 

Whats your thoughts guys ?

 

In what way is it best to increase your value to the other person. Is this possible ?

[chai714]

Once you're "over" your ex, you lose a significant amount of desire to be with that person. If you desire to communicate with them again and can do so without becoming emotional then it's perfectly okay.

 

If you want to increase your value then you'll need to get the person to first like you, then you limit your availability and spread out your giving.

[mikeca]

if you dont contact, expect nothing. Once I gave up the idea of "GBT" thats oddly enough when it happened.

[TijuanaJones]

Once you're "over" your ex, you lose a significant amount of desire to be with that person. If you desire to communicate with them again and can do so without becoming emotional then it's perfectly okay.

 

If you want to increase your value then you'll need to get the person to first like you, then you limit your availability and spread out your giving.

 

I totally agree. My ex's mom told me that my ex kept wondering why I didnt call her after we broke up. I kept NC for 19 days and then I cave in. I was doing well until I screwed up and became serious again.

 

So, yeah, now im going to limit my availability, will call her or text her once a week, but wait a couple of weeks before I start doing it, keep things short, dont expect anything, and dont ask her out until she suggests it or I have enough reason to believe she is ready for it.

[TijuanaJones]

if you dont contact, expect nothing. Once I gave up the idea of "GBT" thats oddly enough when it happened.

 

do you think its a good idea that I gave my ex her things back and took mine, and that I deleted everything I had of her online? will this help to make her realize im getting over her?

[keefy1972]

Not for that reason Tiajuana. I think it's a good thing because if the ex contacts you now, it's because she wants to, and you no longer wonder if it's because she wants her stuff back.