Help please feels like im gunna break, to much to handle

[NKP]

Okay right now i just dont know how to cope about my sister, read that and you will understand why

I know i have to be strong for her, i keep talking to her trying to get her to see a doctor, but she wont since everyone at work thinks she perfect wieght and she thinks so too, people at work only say that to keep her happy, when shes not there they talk about her and all and how she needs help. Shes going to the doctor tomorrow about it which she thinks its just about her breathing, my mother was gunna go with her but my mother has given up and is sick of it, so i said to my mother i will go in with her then since i am the one that knows everything anyway, so it will be alot easier and im alot strong than my mother is right now. Right now i am the only one that hasnt given up on her in the family, and i cant cuz shes my sister and if she died and i gave up on her i would never forgive myself.

 

My mother said that her boy is going back to her thursday, i am really worried about it tho, she cant even look after herself and i dont want him to a more of a crap life, but my mother has a weak heart and this is all just stressing her out and its really not good for her heart. I am trying my hardest to be strong for my sister and my mother, but i have to for them, i cant just break down right now they need me to be there.

 

The lies my sister has told to everyone and me, im not stupid i know when she lies to me. I hate it so much when she lies to me, i know when she is stoned, i know she hasnt been eatting, i know her new abuse bf is still drinking, i know she has forgotten about her kid, i know right now she doesnt care about anything or anyone, i have known her my whole life i am not stupid i can see right thru the lies

 

When i spoke to her on the phone just befor, i told her she has a problem and needs to get help, i said mum cant sleep, shes worried about you, i told her she needs to be there for her boy, she said no im fine, i said i know and you know your not, stop lying to yourself, and just face the truth, she said im not, i said you just cant face the truth can you. Then she hunged up on me, i didnt bother ringing back he new bf is there so she wont do anything stupid hopefully.

 

What should i do? i dont know anymore it feels like i am just gunna break soon

[Spugly Fuglet]

you are trying to do what is right and for that I aplord you, its hard and it takes a lot out of you, one thing I have larned over the years is when a drug takes hold you lose the person when there on it, there not in and its the drug your talking to you have to wait till the drugs gone for a time to get to them,

 

the truth is thy have lost the fight and the drug has won it rules them and so says how and what they do, thows that die from drugs lose the will to fight any more and so the drug takes what it wonts most there life.

 

I have seen this and know how hard that fight is. Like AA steps the adict has to hit a low spot and then won't to change.

That's when your self is most needed. But for now its a waiting game

 

my 3 words

 

Truth: Always be true to yiur self and then others

 

Strength: Aways be strong for your self and then others.

 

Honor: Allways honor you're self for trying to do good and then others who try to do the same.

 

3 words I live by, but note I say them in a way that means Look after yourself 1st, you have to becouse if you don't you become one more problem to you're self. You can only hand out strength when you have some spear. And being true to one self may mean telling others that they are not being truthfull.

 

Strength can also mean not sharking from being strong when others seek to take from you becouse they can.

 

some times our own good deeds feed a weak will and let it become dependent on us when it should larn to become dependent on its self, all children must larn to walk so that they can stand alone.

 

Its time you gave your self a brake and let that which may fall fall, it will have to larn to stand by its self you can not always be there becouse if you try to be the wait will crush you. You can not carry 3 lives.

 

It is not respectfull for others to ask you to do this.

 

I am carring and I do what I can but there is a very hard side to me and if I feel others are seeking to use me to fix things that they should fix them self they get a very short amount of my time, befor I stand aside and let them larn for them selfs. One hast to be strong and one has to exsept the fact they could fall for good but that is life and your life comes 1st.

 

Truth, strength and Honor

 

some how I feel you have them, and so I know you will never be down for long.

 

good luck and all the best

[NKP]

She went to the doctor, the doctor is doing it slow so she doesnt just stop, but he did say she is well underwieght, and he wants her to put on 2 kilos by next time she sees him which is in 2 weeks, if she doesnt do anything about it she will end up in hospital.

 

And yeah im ok, cant sleep at night, but i sleep in the afternoon for 2 hours or so, but hey its kool