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feeling weak, about to break NC


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okay, so i am two days away from 3 weeks NC with a guy i was dating that i really liked. After we ended it quite a bit of drama ensued, and while I have apologized and said I hoped we could at least be civil because we have mutual friends, he went cold on me about a month ago and has not replied to any of my attempts at contact. So yeah, 3 weeks ago was the last time I initiated anything, but I'm thinking about breaking it to say hey I'm still really sorry about how things ended up, and it would be nice to hear from you. I know this is bad, and that it is just going to result in me feeling worse Gah. Why can't I just let go?

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Hmmm, somehow your situation reminds me of my own itches. Im still waiting for the big apology explanation thingy from my last ex who cheated on me and left me for him. I am convinced it aint ever coming, and that lets me lose no sleep over it. You can hope people will act the way you want them to, but it is a big risk. Sometimes you just have to prepare for the worst.

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If there was alot of drama immediately after, and he's not responding to you now, any attempt at contact will be seen as a potential continuation of the drama, not the opening of a new, non-dramatic stage of the relationship.

 

From experience I've found that the only thing that convinces guys that there's not going to be any drama is the rather blunt demonstration that you're over them -- whatever that takes. You can try to be nice about that, or you can be cold, but it's the only thing that works. So. Do NOT contact him, and when you bump into him, just treat him like you always did before you went out with him, or like any other guy. If he actually does like you, he'll come around, and if he doesn't, it's no f'g loss.

 

I think you can't let it go because it's a wrecked relationship right now, and that's troubling. But it's not necessarily permanent, and you can't overcontrol things -- overcontacting, overreacting, dwelling on things -- to fix it. Time will do that. So go running, read a book, call a friend, clean your apartment, go out to a movie -- do anything to distract yourself. It's okay. It's going to work out. Buck up, chicken. There's bigger and better in the world for you.

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