A lesson learned the hard way

[Ladyface]

I don't know why I'm posting this - just to vent, I guess, because it's almost 8 AM and I haven't slept.

 

Long story short - my ex and I dated for about four months, and we broke up a month ago. After two weeks of NC (I was really proud of myself and getting my life back together), he started coming around again, saying he couldn't sleep without me and still loved me. I felt like I had healed enough as a person to let him back into my life (after two weeks? What was I thinking?) and we started dating again - this time, taking things a lot slower. It was really nice; we didn't fight and he took me out on more dates and made me feel special. I really thought we were on a path to successfully getting back together.

 

Of course, during the past week or so, I found myself falling for him again - hard. The last few days have been crippling, knowing that I still love this boy and that we're not technically together. Yesterday, I broke down. I sobbed like a baby as I poured my newly rediscovered feelings to him. And another long story short, I think I completely scared him and pushed him away. I did and said some really pathetic, dumb things. He even sent me a text late last night that said "Sorry, game over."

 

I know I messed up in so many ways and that I should have made sure I was completely over him before I even considered dating him again. Now I'm back at square one and it hurts just as bad as it did a month ago. I feel pathetic.

[Honey Pumpkin]

That's got to sting, I'm sorry you're in such pain right now. I think you answered your own question - that it was a mistake to go from being in a relationship to being broken up to dating again. But I don't think you were in the wrong; how did he expect you to switch your feelings on and off like that? I'm not quite sure what the ground rules for the dating were, but they clearly weren't working for you, were they?

 

So, I don't think you can 'date' him again - you have feelings for him which he doesn't return. But you can start to heal from him; don't feel pathetic, you took a risk and were brave. You just have to go back to not contacting him, not thinking about him, and focusing on you and getting over this setback. Be nice to yourself, look after yourself, and don't worry about 'messing up' - I think your ex sounds a bit wet, to be honest. What was he expecting, that you could just date and no feelings would be involved?

 

Take good care of yourself - it WILL get better, take it day by day. Post here when you want to vent!

[anggrace]

I think that his responce to your out-poor of feelings was really cold and imature. Even if he didnt like that you were falling for him again (what did he expect?) he should of been more understanding. I think your better off with out him. Dont beat yourself up. Your only human, and humans have feelings. You did nothing wrong by expressing them. Sometimes you cant help the way you feel, and theres no wrong in that. If he wasnt ready for your feelings to come back, he should not of agreed to date you because...thats what happens.

 

Try to get some sleep and feel better.

[Ladyface]

Actually, I don't think he was in the wrong by reacting the way he did to the things I said. Like I said, I said some really dumb things that I'm not proud of and don't even want to repeat on this forum. I had been drinking quite a bit and I was belligerent. I am really ashamed of the stupid way I acted last night, and if I were him, I'd say goodbye to me forever as well.

[MacGyverRI]

I think I completely scared him and pushed him away. I did and said some really pathetic, dumb things. He even sent me a text late last night that said "Sorry, game over."

 

I know I messed up in so many ways and that I should have made sure I was completely over him before I even considered dating him again. Now I'm back at square one and it hurts just as bad as it did a month ago. I feel pathetic.

 

 

From a guys perspective, he thinks you're just playing games w/ him and doesn't want to play your game and get hurt again.