What should I do?!?!

[Lost1n7heDark]

I don't know what to do. Maybe some of you read my last post about another girl and mixed feelings. Not now. Totally different scenario. Worse, even.

 

1. Girlfriend does NOT put any effort (i.e. doesn't call BACK, doesn't text BACK, doesn't CONTACT AT ALL, blows me off, etc.)

 

2. She is also a huge drama queen, trying much too hard to get the attention of other people, which leads to

 

3. She has anorexia. Except she almost seems to brag about it. It was really hurting me, because she continuously (and obviously) put being thin over me. She would blow me off because she felt "too weak to do anything but lie around and watch movies". But she couldn't at least call?! After I called and texted the whole day?

It's also been established that she would choose anorexia over me if she ever had to choose. I tried so hard to get her to eat. I used to be a very extreme anorexic, and I didn't want the same thing to happen, even if it's just for attention in her case. But it got so bad as to I started to self-injure, carving horrible words into my arm such as "ANA > ME" or "ANA WINS", "FAT", "STUPID", "UGLY". I am a normally depressed person, but I stopped talking to her about my problems because it was usually just always about her. Last weekend I told her I couldn't do it anymore if she kept on doing this, because it was just too much for me. I gave her the choice. She chose me.

But she's still not trying. She lies about if she eats or not and she's starting to care less about our relationship and just doesn't even try to care. I thought she wasn't trying before, but she's definitely doing NOTHING now.

 

Even my friends, who are her friends, have confronted me about how they thought that I didn't deserve to be treated this way, and that they lost respect for her. One of them said to me, "You are too good for her. I always have seen you getting her things and doing such sweet things; but I don't see her doing anything even close to as much as you do for her! You don't deserve this * * * *." This is coming from the people who have been friends with her longer than I have known her.

 

I would normally understand, but I myself have recovered, but am still struggling with anorexia, and I have known many others, and we would never admit it. Especially when it was truly an obsession. I never admitted I had a problem at all. So when she does, and makes it obvious, it bothers me. Very much. My biggest pet peeve is an attention-seeker.

 

What should I do? I don't really think I can do this anymore, but I don't know what she would do if I broke it off. I don't want her to do something rash or anything. I'm in need of some good advice. Please and thank you!

[robowarrior]

What a great way to make yourself happy.

 

She lied to you about choosing for you instead of her annorexia. Not that you should blame her for that, because you know she has a mental illness. And another thing what is important to understand is if what a person says and what a person do can be two entirelly different things, of more contrast between day and night.

 

People who cut, are people who feel that they are unloved and do not get attention , but there's more then that.

 

Imagine you are in a prison, what helps more to get out, cutting yourself or a prison key?What you need to understand is that you need to invest your energy that you use in cutting and redirect it towards finding the prison key that leads you out of the situation of misery that you are in.

 

Do yourself a favour and look up towards the light and walk out of the dark tunnel that you are in now. Step out of things that hurt you, here's what i always use.

 

You have to be like a castle gate, close yourself to bad people/things/events , and open yourself up to good people/things/events. A bad relationship will only make you suffer. Both of you shouldn't be in a relationship , and instead find people who care for you instead of hurt you all the time.

 

 

The first and foremost important thing that you need to understand is that you should NOT be in a relationship with someone who has a mental illnes (NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HER) that person doesn't need to be in a relationship, but needs to see a psychiatrist. You also need to step out of this relationship which (because you are blinded by love you don't see that ) is destroying you. And see a psychiatrist.

[Diablo7000]

i agree with robo, my ex was like that, mental illness like anxiety attacks always, jsut treated me really bad, i finally had to let her go cause i couldn't handle it anymore.... but robo's right, take his advice

[notsosure11]

I also have to agree. Its not healthy for both of you to be in this relationship. She needs to get help and get better before the two of you can have any kind of relationship.

 

You need to be in a relationship with people who are going to make you happy and who are honest with you. Not lie to you and bring you down. You can be there for her and be her friend. Especially since you know what she is going through, but you really should think about ending the relationship.

 

Remember, it will only gets worse before it gets better.

 

Good luck and let us know what happens.

[Lost1n7heDark]

Thank you guys so much!

 

I think I'm just going to have to let it go and break it off. I'm still somewhat unsure about how to go about this, so if anyone has any more advice, it would be greatly appreciated!

 

Thanks again!

[Makedamnsure]

Just tell her how you feel. I mean, it sounds like she just doesn't care, and theres no way you should have to put up with that. You already gave her an extra chance and it doesn't look like she's taking it seriously. And don't feel bad about it either, because it's not exactly your fault that it had to come to this.

[coffeeformylover]

Tell her the truth. Tell her that even though you like her, you can't continue being in a relationship with her because it is hurting you. Tell her that she needs to get help but you will still be her friend, though.

[Lost1n7heDark]

hey guys.

 

thanks so much.

 

i just wanted to let you all know that i ended it with her today.

 

she gave me a note though, asking if i would take her back later after she fixed things.

 

i don't know, but i know right now i'm done with it.

 

thanks for the support!