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I just arrived back on campus after a month of being of for holidays..and i thought i was doing so well..im in such a rut..i'm on day 23 of NC..and i'm starting to realize that i thought by now he would have called me or done something to contact me....even though i blocked him on aim, he hasn't emailed me to apologize or anything..i just don't understand how you can just cut someone off like that without even feeling guilty..it just doesn't seem fair that he can go on with his life and i'm stuck in the past. i have no desire to contact him, i've come too far. i just wish that he was hurting as much as i was. i wish that he would tell me that it was a mistake and that i could laugh in his face. i just wish there was some type of light at the end of the tunnel, some type of way to close the book and say 'i am done'. but i cant find it. it doesnt seem like its in sight..

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Remember this:


It applies both ways.


I have found myself on both ends of the spectrum. I once dated a girl whom I'm still convinced was the best gf I had. I was immature though and simply not ready for her. I was a {Mod Edit} in the way I acted and how it ended. Eventually, down the road, I called her to apologize. I made it clear that I was not asking for her back, but wanted to offer my sincere apology for how I acted. Lucky for me, she accepted and we still speak occasionally. Honestly, I would consider dating her again at this point because I do realize how great she was. Then again, I would never tell her that.


I also dated a woman who broke my heart and brought me to ENA a long time ago. I'll never forget how horrible I felt. I hope to never feel that way again and while I get upset still about girls I date, it is nothing compared to that pain I felt. I finally gave up and moved on from her. Eventually, when I was over her, she came back to me and said the things like I said to the girl above. She pretty much wanted me back, but it was to late...just like it says in the opening scene of swingers.


My point is that eventually you will just simply not care anymore. You won't care if you get the apology or not. It will not matter. Only then, will you possibly get it. It might not happen, but if it does, it will just be like a bonus.


I bet if you come back in a year from now and look at this, you won't even be phased by this guy, at all. (not that its going to take that long)


Stay strong..your young and will meet plenty of good guys.

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I know this isnt what you want to hear, but you probably wont get that contact fromhim in a form that could be ruturned right back in his face ( like you wish to). And to be truthful when he does contact you, he will most likely play stupid. ( I can guarentee he will at some point). He will act like he doesnt understand what you could be angry about. Or why you are still angry. The best thing you can do is work on yourself and have fun. Keep your mind occupied. It will take some time.

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I understand how you feel. It can be shocking to be in love one day and completely cut off the next - almost as if it were a switch that was turned to "off." Boy does that kill your self-esteem and heart. All that time you spend thinking about it, trying to figure out what he's doing, how he feels, and what he's thinking about . . . many of us have experienced those same thought patterns and heartache.


Time is the only known way to heal your heart and get back your self-esteem. Breakups are a dark period for many people. Anytime someone you love rejects you or leaves you wondering what the heck happened, it sure can sting.


One of the best things to come out of a breakup is finding yourself and improving on the person you were. This is something I hadn't realized until I began reading and working on what I considered, negative behaviors. I found keeping a journal and exercise to be the two most effective behaviors in dealing with heartbreak, along with eating the right foods. For now though, hang tough and post here if it helps. You will make it through this.

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Remember your words from a previous post:


"i have come to the realization that you know, he really wasn't all that i had cracked him up to be. In fact, he really ISN'T going to get better than me, and i can honestly say that."


When you forget, and start to romanticize, keep your focus on the above and it will help you stay clear. The holidays are a hard time for breakups, but the best thing you can do is to keep yourself honest about his flaws and in turn keep your dignity intact. Silence is the best thing you can say at this point.

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Hi CareBear,

Hang in there. I know exactly how you feel. My ex and I were so dependant on eacho other that the only way to actually break up was to cut each other off completely. i am a softy when it comes to letting go so when he ignored my email and phone calls, it really shocked me and I realized that I am no longer what I used to be. So, i stopped making myself look like a fool and didnt call him. he called me the other day and thank God i missed his call. I wouldnt know what to say to him. I dont know how i managed to do that... i dont think I have ever ignored his calls before like that or didnt call back if i missed a call from him... oh well, I hope he doesnt think i hate him or anything. I just feel like if i talk to him, all these feelings will come bursting out of nowhere. So in a way, you should be happy he isnt calling...

I guess the best thing for you to do is carry on with your life, stay busy, focused on YOU and whats BEST for YOU and see what happens in a few months. We are here for you when you need to talk... always

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