What is the point?

[chigal28]

Lately I've been having horrible panicky feelings and wondering what the point of life is. Not as someone who wants to end it--definitely not. Just wondering if I'm missing something, because it sure feels like I am. I guess I'd just like to know people's thoughts on what the POINT is.

 

I always worked hard and got good grades, to get into a good college, to get a good job. Now I have a job I enjoy, as a community newspaper editor, but I don't know how much of an impact it really has, and sometimes I feel like I'm just doing what's expected of me. Is the point of life to make a difference?

 

I've been dating since I was 15, and even though what I *really* want in life is to get married and have kids, that's eluded me so far, and I know I can't *make* it happen. I've started feeling really panicky lately because I'm turning 30, and even though I'm in a relationship of a year, it's started to feel not so cozy and secure lately, which even though I might be imagining it, scares me A LOT. Is the point of life to love and be loved? To start a family and devote myself to them? Because if that's the point, then am I just spinning my wheels at work, biding my time?

 

How do I try to build a life WITH someone, without any guarantee that they'll still be around? How do I build my OWN life, while still taking someone else into account? What does building my own life even entail? I have friends, I have a job, I have interests, but it doesn't feel like it adds up to a life. Or is that all there is? I get up, go to work and enjoy my day, spend time with my boyfriend, friends, or just myself in the evenings, go to bed, get up and do it all over again. But what does it add up to?

 

I love my family very, very much, but they're so far away, and even though I was NEVER homesick in college or in my early to mid-20s, now all I want is to go home. To spend time with my sister and my parents. I don't know why this is happening...I have plenty of friends out here, and I live with my boyfriend with two adorable kittens, but I feel SO ALONE.

 

I've been a Christian since I was in fourth grade, and at times like this I turn to my faith even more--which I've been doing, but it's not as comforting as it usually is. I still feel empty and sad.

 

Is it possible to have a mid-life crisis at 29? What if I live to be 85, and look back at my life, and think--wow. What was the point?? I'm scared that if I never get married and never have kids, I'll feel very, very empty and cheated out of what I really want out of life. I want to have a family. I want to have kids and grandkids, and to surround myself with people I love. I guess I could adopt children in a few years.

 

I'm sorry for the rant. I'm just really scared. I guess I just feel like I'm 29, waiting for my life to start. Really, what's the point?

[Heretic]

Life is a vacation for the soul.

 

You're supposed to do everything you can to enjoy it. Just like your vacations from work things can still go wrong but it's best to deal with them quickly and put them behind you so you can enjoy the rest of your trip.

 

The point of life is to be happy! What else really matters?

[robowarrior]

The real meaning of life is to love and help others. When you get that uneasy feeling, it means that you are spiritually ready to proceed to the next level. And maby you would be interested in reading hands of light link removed from Barbara Ann Brennan, which learns you how to see your own aura, spiritual beings of light and how to expand your own horizon.

[Honey Pumpkin]

The meaning of life - if you crack that one, you'll be doing a better job than philosophers through the ages!

 

You sound a bit down, and a bit sad that life is not going how you thought it would:

 

Is it possible to have a mid-life crisis at 29? What if I live to be 85, and look back at my life, and think--wow. What was the point?? I'm scared that if I never get married and never have kids, I'll feel very, very empty and cheated out of what I really want out of life. I want to have a family. I want to have kids and grandkids, and to surround myself with people I love. I guess I could adopt children in a few years

 

But maybe it's learning that flexibility to enjoy your life no matter what. I'm 35 now (ouch!), and what has been hard and good about growing older is the realisation that life doesn't turn out the way you want it. It's quite disorientating, to be honest. And the realisation that you may or may not have children, you may or may not marry your one true love, etc. But just because your path is not how you thought it would be, that doesn't mean it's any less in value.

 

I'm really sorry, I'm not putting this at all well. I suppose I'm trying to say that I know how you feel, and that you have to reallly appreciate what you have as well as what you do not.

 

Also, as a side note, I do wonder if you are a wee bit depressed? I'm not an expert in that area, but if you feel low continually, you might want to talk it through with a health care professional? That might not be it at all, and you're just expressing how you're feeling, which is great, but also just to suggest that.

 

Anyway, take care - things have a habit of suddenly changing when we least expect it!

[BYOB]

Philosophical yet essential question of life: point of life is ...?

 

That's the point where you might be interested in documenting yourself on philosophy. There are many philosophers who started a theory on our reason to be alive (on earth).

 

(Even though you get the answer, it won't make you any mythical person you might dream of. I know that.)

[Lilu]

Hi!

 

Oh my gosh, this is going to sound a bit silly but I had times that I have asked myself that same question. About feeling the need of spending time with your love ones, and the relationship feeling that's wearing out so soon, and the job feeling like a routine (which for most of us is just that).

 

I have posted a couple of times about how useless I have been feeling at work, and how panicky I get when I feel lonely when I am not.

 

About my job- I work as a marketing assistant @ a company that's merging etc. So I'm going to start looking for another soon. I've been feeling useless @ that job for a long period of time and it hasn't been long since I started it (9 months). I'm not really making a lot of progress relating my graphic design skills . I'm trying to deal with that.

 

About my family- My mum and dad are right at the verge of a divorce. It's hard seeing parents go through arguments for silly things, when the end product is going to be their own separate lives. So, I don't k now how things are going to turn out with mum. I know dad can manage, but mum will need a bit of help from me- Kind of scary for me. They're both better off going their separe way...because no-matter, I will always love them and help them as much as I can.

 

About my relationship- Boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. I know, its fresh, but for 7 months....we have gone through a lot together. It feels that that has help us realize that we can be good for each other. So, so far things look bright, and we will give it our best to stick together as a couple and as best friends.

 

Stress can cause panic. The thought of not doing what we were suppost to do in life, can be confusing.

 

What's the point? Well, make sure you do aN *inventory of what makes you happy in life. What makes you smile, what makes you feel all tingly inside. Think about how great is having someone to love, no-matter if it wasnt as passionate as the first month. That could come back you know, that passion and cozyness.

 

Life isn't perfect. We cannot please everyone all the time. I know that for sure. You mentioned you're 29? So young. I'm 24. We are a bunch of young girls that are itching to do more in life. But remember, just because we never won an oscar, or contributed those organization of poor children with $ 1million, or because we never hicked mount everest, doesn't mean that our purpose in life has been dimished to zero.

 

We are what we are doing at the moment. We are all different and have different dreams, or different ideas on how to live life.

 

Jeez, i know i am making sense to myself, but I sure hope i made sense to you. Heheh I could go on and on with this.

 

Good luck with everything, girl!

 

Lilu

[Caterina]

So you're turning thirty...so what? Your life is just beggining. This isn't the homefront at the turn of the century...there is still no hurry to get hitched. You are a Christian- perhaps God has given this special time to you so that you aren't caught up in the pain and distractions that keep one's focus off of Him when in a relationship. Don't worry over what you can't control...if you are making efforts to put yourself into social circles, the oppurtunities for romance will arise. Calm down and like a previous poster said, focus on helping others...there is no other contentment and peace like that which comes when we are truly needed. Find people in need and help them...trust me, they're EVERYWHERE.

[chigal28]

Thanks so much to all of you for your very thoughtful responses. They definitely gave me a lot to think about, and even made me feel a bit better. 

 

Heretic—That is a *great* way to look at it. I never thought of it that way. And as someone who got stuck in the Denver airport and got her suitcase lost TWICE during my holiday travels, the vacation analogy makes a lot of sense. What was the point of being unhappy about a lost suitcase when I got to enjoy spending time with my parents? I’ll ponder your analogy and try to apply it to my attitude about things.

 

Robowarrior—Now *that* is a comforting thought. My counselor has told me something similar--that when we feel uncomfortable in our lives, it can mean we’ve made progress, and are ready to move onward and upward with our spiritual growth. I suppose if we all felt completely comfortable, all the time, there would be no motivation to learn and grow, which is so important. So this could be a good thing? Time to try shifting perceptions…

 

HoneyPumpkin—You’re right, it IS disorienting…it’s like, 10 years ago I thought I knew what my life might look like at this age, and it’s pretty much nothing like that. So it’s easy to look around and say—whoa, wait a minute. IS this my life? Or did I really screw up somewhere along the line and lose out on what’s meant for me? Then I realize that even if my life HAD turned out completely differently, there’s nothing to say it would have been better, or happier. I have pondered the possibility that I might be at least mildly depressed, and having done some research into it, I think it might be time to talk to someone about it. Thank you for your wonderful response…it’s always so comforting to know that someone understands your feelings, and has felt the same way.

 

BYOB—Hmmm, yes, some research might be in order. Time to seek some answers—or at least theories….

 

Lilu—Thank you so much for sharing your story and your thoughts with me. They did make so much sense. I’m so sorry to hear about what your parents are going through—it must be strange to think about the role reversal with helping your mom through this time, but what a wonderful gift to give her—and both of them—your unconditional love and support. And something you said about you and your boyfriend together (glad things are going well for you guys!!) really made me stop and think…he and I were best friends for years before we dated, and that doesn’t guarantee success, of course, but I KNOW that we are so good for each other, and still can be. I’m trying to be more Zen about the whole thing…you know, what will be will be and all that…but it’s difficult!! I will definitely do that inventory you suggested…sometimes I lose sight of what makes me truly happy in life, and it really is the simplest things. Sunsets, hugs, animals…stuff like that.

 

Caterina—Haha, the home front. Thank you for your post. Sometimes I do think that when I put too much focus on something else in my life—work, friends, my boyfriend, whatever—God has a tendency to shake things up a bit to bring things back into their proper perspective. I am still with my boyfriend of a year—I’m just not feeling as certain about it all right now. It is SO TOUGH for me to not worry over what I can’t control….in fact I think it’s my specialty. But I will take your suggestion and try to pour myself into helping others. Maybe that is why we’re here?

[poloplayer]

The real meaning of life is to love and help others.

 

Nice post. I definitely agree. I had someone explain to me the purpose of life is to be "of maximum service to my fellow man and others." Everything else is ancillary. Apply that attitude in everything you do from work, to play time, to dating, etc. It helps create a sense of purpose and accomplishment, instead of focusing on things which will drag you down.

 

I like money and nice things, but the point of my life is not to accumulate as much of it as possible because that would be a miserable existence. I like girls, but if I don't have a girlfriend at the time I can think of someone that has never been kissed, instead of compare myself to a friend who does have one and envy them. The same thought process goes on in other situations. In reality, it's reacting to situations in a way that looks for positives, instead of, I don't have this or that. Bad mood? Not happy with an outcome? Make a gratitude list. I've complained in the past, and one person told me, "Well, you still have your limbs, your health, a roof over your head, food in your stomach, etc."

 

It's very easy to create a void in oneself by taking so many things for granted. I found that there is no better way to pep up than to be grateful and appreciate what I have. This is usually what gets me to "snap out of it" when I am thinking a little loonier.