BYOB Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 It's been some days that I don't feel alright. I don't do anything much more than stay on the computer. I lost my wish for pretty much everything, which can really make me think that I'm depressed. I lost my sense of entertainment. All I do is sit and watch almost like if I was already out of this world. I feel so alone in my world. I'm not in my normal mood at all. It's weird that I'd normally know what's going on with me but I barely know what I'm expecting out of this post. Can you hear it ? I'm crashing into madness once again I just want %&?$ attention. Post anything I can reply to ! That's it ! I just want any form of attention; I know what's wrong now. I just want anybody. Heh I just want someone heh, I'm mad. Link to comment
CynicalGuitarist Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 At least you aren't me. I've been sittin' on my comp lately as well. I've made my share of mistakes in this life and they're starting to bite me in the arseneo, so I can relate on that level. Maybe you could elaborate on your situation a bit? Link to comment
BYOB Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 It's no use to elaborate. Nobody will care about it. I've been told so many time that people cared about my situation. Where are they now ? I need them. I need them so deeply. I get to think that I also said that I cared. Well I didn't forget them so soon. Even recently, I thought about them. I want them to be fine. But they want it less than me. I'm just one man alone in the world who thinks that caring is another state of mind. So how can I get any good reply ? By the fact that I get entertained, I might find my pleasure in it again even though I'm not that convinced. (Just found that in another thread ) If you keep doing the same things over and over again, you'll get the same results. Just try changing things a little at a time.. do you have a dream job that you've always wanted? What about taking classes at a university? Do you have any talents or hobbies? If you think about.. if this is your low point.. then you can only go up from here. Everyone has to have a low point at some time in their lives. Yours is just coming sooner than later. Just find something that you want to achieve, and go for it.I don't see myself into any particular job. I've gone to university two times and failed more than one course everytime. I have the talent of overthinking. What a waste of time, right ? I have the hobby to play games and surf on the internet so that my life goes smooth and speedy. I've been on a lower point so I can necessarily go even more low. Finally and most of all, there is nothing I need and nothing I really want to get but a bit of money. I'm good at helping others but I can't think of anything that needs education or that's not benevolent Link to comment
BYOB Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 Inverse psychology ? Don't care about people who wants attention ? Won't help duh Oh I forgot to say that I'm paranoid and that everything that's not perfect pisses me off. So the fact that 12h passed and that I had only ne reply frustrates me. Sadly, I don't want to hurt anything around me when I'm feeling depressed so all I can think of is hurting myself. (This reply is not to catch anybody's attention at all.) It's so painful to be in my head. Link to comment
texami Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Post anything I can reply to ! hey, how's it going?? how's the weather in canada, cause it's FREAKIN cold in texas... which is not supposed to happen, btw. i don't really know how to directly answer your questions... i do sort of understand the situation of being alone and feeling NUTS. i get that way and it almost feels like a growing echo in my brain... like the sensation of being separate... even when i'm surrounded by people i can feel it sometimes. Link to comment
BYOB Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 I don't get it... I'm feeling quite alright right now. I'm just feeling dirty though; you know when you're into depression, you don't do ANYTHING, right ? The weather in canada is back to normal. We've had a lot of rain but this week, we're having days of 15 under zero. What's "freaking cold" for you in Texas ? A growing echo, yeah that's pretty much it. It's unbelievable how way insane that can be. The one time I felt it and that I was surrounded by someone, I was thinking about murder, I was laying down in the kitchen and my parents were talking while preparing dinner. Other than that, being surrounded by people makes me feel great. I'll most of the times feel terrible and as soon as someone speaks to me, I'll answer truthfully that I'm fine but I'll drop down into sadness as soon as we leave each other. Does it happen to you too ? (I was feeling better before you answered, by the way. I involved myself on a forum I didn't get involved for a while and it made me feel good, along with watching a movie I didn't see for a while.) Link to comment
texami Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 (I was feeling better before you answered, by the way. I involved myself on a forum I didn't get involved for a while and it made me feel good, along with watching a movie I didn't see for a while.) that's good... distraction works for me, and with a busy life i'm usually distracted. for me the feeling is usually self-indulgent. like i'm wallowing on purpose. i hope you're able to continue to feel alright. cold here = ice. around 30F today, and rainy, so ice everywhere. texans are complete losers at driving on ice!! they basically closed down the cities due to the storms cause we're just not prepared or able to deal. usually i think it should be around 60-65F, so it's pretty chilly!! Link to comment
blue-eyedspacemonkey Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 First the name/sig, I adore SOAD. Second: I'm not sure I can give you advice, if you're anything like I can be, any advice to change, go do a course, find a hobby, etc, although ity may be good advice, and the right thing to do, just seems like empty words, even if they're not. So what I'm going to say is this: Yes, the echo is insane, it's like opening a box to a part of you that you never wanted to look into, and once it's open, it's so very hard to shut the thoughts/feelings out...I lost the ability to compartmentalize for about a month before xmas...I almost lost the plot, I swear... I'm here, listening to do, been where you've been(sort of)...if you want to PM me feel free, I'm in the UK, so you'll have to wait for a reply I'm afraid, due to the time difference, but, I will reply. Not sure if this helps, other than letting you know that people are reading and do care... Chin up PS isn't too bad here, just a lot of rain, but as anyone from the UK will tell you, that's normal for Wales! Link to comment
BYOB Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 I won't go do a course without feeling alone. Hobbies are expensive... I would just need a job to get into a new routine but I'm not convinced that I'll be successful to get any. So I just don't do anything. I'm thinking about other projects but I'll never push me enough to realise them. I've got some experience but I think it's junk to employers. It's all about a couple of weeks here and there. Plus I have a low self esteem and that is usually easy to see for an employer. So you see, I'm not convinced at all. It's quite sad that I'm bright enough to see all of those facts and so that they can discourage me, ain't it ? Link to comment
BYOB Posted January 20, 2007 Author Share Posted January 20, 2007 Just telling you that I don't exist anymore. Don't bother answering. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now