Just drifting....

[Cami]

Hi, uni did'nt start well for me because I did'nt meet a group of people I just clicked with, you know had things in common (like back home). I just felt like the odd one out and people made me feel bad about myself because I would'nt drink like crazy, sleep around and later some friends just kep pointing out all my faults, which yes I do have but they'r not perfect either and I don't go round telling them what they should improve. I thought you just accept people for who they are, I always have and back home in my friendship group we did that. I thought things would get better, but they have'nt got better. I know lots of people, but I'm not in their "groups" so, I'm not invited to do things with them. Do people just don't like me? My housemates seem to, they'r my closest friends, but I think they'r drifting too. Its really getting me down, I feel like no one likes me and the more I feel like this the less I want to go out, its like a vicious circile. I've never had this problem, back home I had great friends. Help!!

[honeyspur]

No, I'm sure people like you. They may sense your discomfort and lonliness and are keeping their distance. It's hard to explain, but you might give off a "vibe" that says 'stay away from me' - even though you aren't meaning to.

My feeling is, if some of these people are not into the same things you are and waste their time drinking and partying, well then let them go and move on.

As for your roomates, I would definitely muster up some courage and tell them how you've been feeling. You can say it in a way that doesn't feel like you are blaming them.

You could just say, "I'm feeling lonely and out of sorts and I wish I could stop feeling that way. I know you are all my friends, so I can't figure it out."

They would most likely give you some suggestions and start making more of an effort. Be sure to try the things they suggest, even if they don't sound too great to you or seem scary. Maybe you need to do something really different to step outside of your comfort zone.

 

I would also go to some parties, but feel comfortable not drinking or bring your own favorite beverage. You could tell people you aren't drinking for any number of reasons (feeling ill, allergic to alcohol, against your religion, hate hangovers, etc). Going to parties is always good because there is always a chance you'll meet someone like you. Parties ALWAYS have someone who's not really into partying, they just want to meet people.

 

Good luck.