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I've got a good one for yah


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Okay let's begin with the issue then I'll give you some history,


I'm having problems figuring out what I should do next. I know I'm not going to be able to see this woman for about a month as she lives a couple of hours away, but what do I say in the meantime?


With that in mind here's the story:


This woman I speak of is without a doubt, the love of my life. I can say this because before I even knew what love was I've loved this woman. I've know her for the better part of a decade and in this period of time (due to a number of factors) we have never had a relationship beyond being the best of friends.


I'm sure some people will find it hard to believe that someone who I used to talk with only 3 times a year could be a great friend, but believe me it's possible. A long time ago we met up for a simple visit we were both young and in the middle of the night she snuck into my room. There we confessed our love for each other is the most pure and poetic sense. (If you want to know the details I'll post them but I'm trying to keep this light.)


Years passed we kept meeting up and everytime I saw her she would smile from ear to ear and hold me tightly in her arms (I was often a victim of brutal hug attacks when I least expected it. I mean like literal pouncing.) However I lost track of her 3 years ago. Just before we lost touch she mentioned that she believed love wasn't real and that it was all just a bunch of lies and garbage. I knew it wasn't directed at me (it's also not the reason we lost touch, I just got rid of my cell phone and didn't tell anyone While I was rumaging through my belongings I found her folks old number. I gave it a call and her brother answered the phone. He said he'd take my number, but he wouldn't give me hers (fair enough and I didn't really press the matter). 4 months passed. I receive a phone call from this woman. She tells me that she has really missed me and wants me to come visit some time. I make the arrangements and off I go. I get there and receive and extremely warm reception.


Her roommate and I hit it off great her buddies and I got along too. Everything was going great and she had that same look in her eyes as she did a long time ago. I know because it's not a look you forget. So I spend the night on the couch, no biggy I'm a gentleman. I wake up with her beside me and she proceeds to lay ontop of me and we just rested for a bit. I proceeded to be hug attacked throughout the day and decided to spring some traps of my own. Everything was great until at and after hours party she disapears. I never saw her leave as I was chatting it up with a friend of hers. She calls her roomate on her cell and says she's okay and she's not coming home. I'm completely crushed. I've never been blown off by her like this and it got to me BAD. I'm usually a really together guy. At that moment all I could think of was that she was with another guy. My mind was blown wide open. Anyway so I'm lying on the floor of her place and she waltz's in 7:30 in the morning (2 hours after her call) and tells me we need to talk. She asked me how I felt, I told her she knows how I feel. She asked me how I knew I loved her. I can't remember what I said but it was along the lines of because I feel contected with you.


The night goes on we talk and she invites me to her room. We crawled in together I ripped off all my clothes save my boxers and socks and she left hers on. We cuddled for a while when she states "this isn't right, if you love me we shouldn't be doing this" I kissed the back of her head and left. Around 11:30 her roommate came home and I was still wide awake. I asked her about her night and everything went fairly well she was saying. I was glad I didn't get in her way, she asked about her buddy and I said she was okay and in her room. The roommate asked me if I was okay. I wasn't but I felt a white lie was alright so I told her I was.


Noon hour comes and I'm still awake I head into her room to just she if she was alright. She heard me come in and she pulls back her sheets. I didn't question and we just lay there for the next 5 hours. We didn't have breakfast together as I had to get up as one of her friends was arriving and I didn't want her to have to explain anything. This guy that shows up come in and asks her why she's given up sex (turns out that was her resolution) I was shocked, but I hadn't come there to look for sex so I let it be.


We parted ways at night, she had homework so I let her have her time to do that (school is important). I gave her a couple of hugs before I left and things seemed off. her roommate on the way out told me not to worry I was a good guy. I shrugged and told her that I'd be back in a month. As requested I called them when I got back to let them know things were okay (got the machine). I sent off an E-mail this afternoon just thanking her for a good time and a bunch of random spewing. But now I don't know what to make of it.


When I saw her again I felt it all over, and now I feel torn because I'm not there with her. I really miss her a lot but I don't know what's she going through. I her she had a rough breakup just before her exams (December) I'm not sure what to make of that. I know she really enjoyed herself... and you don't hug attack someone for no reason. I just don't know what to do about all this. I plan to play it cool and let her figure some stuff out, but at the same time I can't help but want to start a relationship.


That's my mess. Have at it

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If you two have had a connection for years and years, then you'll continue to have it for a while to come, I think. She just broke up with someone in December and has another guy besides you coming around, and it appears she is putting boundaries around herself by making that resolution. It appears she needs time to sort herself out. She isn't going to get that time if she doesn't tell the other guy to give her some space but you can certainly take cue and let a month or two go by. She needs to heal from her breakup.

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I think she just needs time to figure things out. She really does love you, by the way she acts around you. But right now, she is very confused and is trying to sort things out in her mind, I am sure. It's best, as you stated, just to give her some space and see how things turn out. Good luck.

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