Aurian Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Just a question... I have this one guy emailing me. He's always busy, and just told me today that there isn't much point giving me his phone number because he's never in and doesn't have voice mail. He emails a lot though. I'm getting a bit of a weird feeling about this one, and I am wondering if I am being a bit too picky or something. Being honest? Busy with a wife or girlfriend already? Wanting an e-friend? Or am I just being paranoid? I'm considering not responding anymore but I hate the idea of doing a disappearing act. I'd at least like to make it clear if I do stop seeing someone. I guess I'd say something like "It was nice meeting you, but you seem to be too busy. Good luck with your search!" I dunno... thoughts? Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 er.... that sounds fishy!!!! "no point in giving you my number because I am never home?" hm.... yeah, forget him. I wouldn't even write back. or maybe just say, "sorry, this isn't going to work out." yeah, i bet he is hiding something.... Link to comment
Aurian Posted January 16, 2007 Author Share Posted January 16, 2007 That's what I thought. I'd feel differently if he gave it to me and added that its hard to get ahold of him, but like this, I feel like he has something on his home phone he doesn't want me to hear... Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 yeah, I agree. I think if he gave it to you with the caution that he is rarely home, that is different. Afterall, you COULD call him at 7 AM or 1 AM with an emergency or something..... this is just .... odd..... yeah, either he has a relationship, or he is only interested in being your penpal. blah. Link to comment
Dako Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Sounds like you're entertainment when he's bored at work or hiding from his angry wife. Link to comment
CelesteSeven Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Before writing him off (haha, pun? no? ok), anyway, before giving him the boot, you might want to try asking why he didn't give you his number and to be straight up honest with you. To me, it sounds like you're making some assumptions. If your plan is to discontinue the emailing, it can't hurt first to ask and see what's going on, can it? Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 meh, I think anytime you get a "weird feeling" about a guy online, you haven't even met yet, don't bother giving them the benefit of the doubt, just forget them..... Link to comment
Aurian Posted January 16, 2007 Author Share Posted January 16, 2007 Yeah, I'm kinda feeling like he's got three strikes now. 1 - he seems more interested in a friend than a girlfriend 2 - busy, busy, busy 3 - no phone, lame excuse I think if I ask him outright about it, if he isn't on the level, it would just mean another chance to lie. And Annie's right... if I am already feeling weird about it, and we haven't even met yet, maybe my gut is trying to tell me something. I'm nice and understanding, but I've gotten burned by being TOO nice in the past and don't want to be taken for a ride again. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting, but what Annie and Dako say makes sense to me. Link to comment
Jeffrey2095 Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 Hello Aurian, I think that it is plausable that he could have a wife, but want a friend also. Should marriage be a barrier to just "friendship", (providing it doesn't develope into "girlfriendship"?) Now, what does he say in his emails, how do they sound to you, simply friends, or something more? Send him an e-mail that expresses what you have said here maybe... Peace, and best regards. Jeffrey Link to comment
Aurian Posted January 17, 2007 Author Share Posted January 17, 2007 Well, if I met someone on a messageboard or something, then I am open to friends. However, I am not paying $30 a month on a dating site to make friends, I am looking for a boyfriend. I assume other people on dating sites are looking for mate themselves. Link to comment
charley Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 er.... that sounds fishy!!!! "no point in giving you my number because I am never home?" hm.... yeah, forget him. I wouldn't even write back. or maybe just say, "sorry, this isn't going to work out." yeah, i bet he is hiding something.... People who don't write back without first making things clear... Are rude people. I don't know what to tell you to tell him, but you should tell him something to the effect that you aren't interested anymore. Your reason about him being to busy is a valid reason. So use that as the reason. It's honest. Link to comment
charley Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 That's what I thought. I'd feel differently if he gave it to me and added that its hard to get ahold of him, but like this, I feel like he has something on his home phone he doesn't want me to hear... Maybe he lives with him mom, or something like that, or his wife. Maybe he lives with his mom and wife. Link to comment
Aurian Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 That's another thought... I also agree with you Charley, I'd rather leave a final message instead of doing a disappearing act, even if it feels awkward on my part. It feels rude to do that, and even if the other person isn't on the level, I like to be! Link to comment
charley Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 That's another thought... I also agree with you Charley, I'd rather leave a final message instead of doing a disappearing act, even if it feels awkward on my part. It feels rude to do that, and even if the other person isn't on the level, I like to be! Disappearing acts are the height of highly rude. Besides, there's always the off chance that he has a legitimate explanation. I mean a true one. You'd never know if you just cut communications without warning. Link to comment
Jeffrey2095 Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Hello Aurian, Um, sorry, I guess I missed or overlooked the dating site part. If you meant me? Thanks. Jeff Link to comment
Aurian Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 Yeah, I did. No prob though! Link to comment
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