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asked out a friend, first date, freaking out, need help!!!


oldertwin
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I've had a crush on my closest guy friend for months, but he was too dense to pick up on it. So I told him on msn. I gave him about a month to get used to the idea (and to teach myself how to flirt, lol), then I asked him out. We're gonna see a movie on Friday, a "first" for both of us (as we're both too "academically inclined", or "nerdy", to have done this type of stuff before). I'm SERIOUSLY freaking out.

 

You'd probably describe me as more "intelligent" than "pretty", 'cos of glasses and lots of frizzy hair to hide behind , but I'm kinda quiet and shy. With everyone - guys aren't the problem. I get really uncomfortable if I'm outside of my comfort zone. I am REALLY outside of my comfort zone now.

As for the guy - he hangs out on the library computers with his own little circle of geeks. He is incredibly nice and intelligent. And I FINALLY worked up the guts to actually set a date, place and time. This Friday. Need help fast!!! Going to see Casino Royale. Although, it's been out for a while so the cinema might be kinda empty ... which only means MORE panicking.

 

Problems:

1. Social anxiety - what if there's a cute guy behind the counter when I buy the tickets? I can't handle it if there's a cute guy behind the counter, no matter who I'm with. >

2. What am I going to talk about? How am I going to keep from being tense and strained at keeping up conversation for a few hours? Why didn't I make it a group outing??? Then again if there were any more people around, I probably wouldn't talk at all.

3. What if I see some of the "popular girls" around when I'm with him? They'll be "nice", but they'll make me feel like I've "let them down" somehow. I know it's stupid. Being at the bottom of the pecking order makes you stress about this a lot.

4. I just checked - it's his 17th birthday the day after we're gonna meet (I'm already 17). Uh-oh. Should I do something? All I REALLY have to do is make sure he has a good time, but I'm not sure I even know how to do that!!!

5. I joke around on msn sometimes about, I dunno, kissing and stuff. Like, I keep accusing him of using his school textbooks as surrogate girlfriends because he spends so much time with them, that sort of thing. He doesn't say anything to disabuse me of the idea - I think it's a nerdy type of flirting. Actually, I am TOTALLY inexperienced. Probably, so is he, although he's only shy when it comes to relationship-stuff.

So it's been mostly me "making the moves" up 'til now. Like, flicking his shoulder to get his attention whenever I walk past (which he now reciprocates), that sort of thing. He definitely doesn't seem to mind, but it's half killing me every time! We'd be still just "good friends" if I hadn't done this, I feel like the pressure is on me to make this work, and that's really stressful!!!

I mean, I don't know if he even wants me to do anything... all I know is that I'm 17 and never had a guy admit he likes me before (he actually said so, on msn a short while ago), and my teenage hormones are starting to get on my nerves. Help!!!

 

WHAT DO I DO??? Thoughts, comments, suggestions, whatever! I NEED THEM!!!

Oh yes, and one last thing. How do I tell my parents? They won't freak out or forbid me, it'll just be humiliating having to let them know. >

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Hi there, I'm kind of new here myself hahah but congratulations on asking him out! =]

 

Problems:

1. Social anxiety - what if there's a cute guy behind the counter when I buy the tickets? I can't handle it if there's a cute guy behind the counter, no matter who I'm with. >

Just try and stay calm, it's the best thing you can do. And hopefully, he'll buy your ticket, wait for him to buy his first. Then buy yours if he doesn't buy it. And don't try and think about "how cute the guy is" think about how happy you are because of who your with

 

2. What am I going to talk about? How am I going to keep from being tense and strained at keeping up conversation for a few hours? Why didn't I make it a group outing??? Then again if there were any more people around, I probably wouldn't talk at all.

It's a movie so luckily you won't have to do tooo much talking. However you do still need to get a conversation. Just talk about whatever would make you smile, or you would enjoy talking about. Ask him how school's going for him, ask him if he knows how good the movie is.

 

3. What if I see some of the "popular girls" around when I'm with him? They'll be "nice", but they'll make me feel like I've "let them down" somehow. I know it's stupid. Being at the bottom of the pecking order makes you stress about this a lot.

Don't worry about them. Popularity is overrated, seriously, you should just follow your heart and what you believe, not what the "popular girls" want you to do.

 

4. I just checked - it's his 17th birthday the day after we're gonna meet (I'm already 17). Uh-oh. Should I do something? All I REALLY have to do is make sure he has a good time, but I'm not sure I even know how to do that!!!

Ooh wow, special occasion heheh Well, since he said he liked you, he may be shy too, so you may have to try and break some of that up. Something that's always worked for me (however lame it is, I love it) is smile at them and ask them if there ticklish, if they are, tickle them. Hint on that your ticklish too, chances are they'll tickle you as well.

This is something my x-gf did to me on our first date, it amazed me.

I tickled her and she grabbed my arms and went "No, no stop! you know what..." and just grabbed my arm and put it around her and went there! no more tickling!

It sounds kind of strange but I've always thought it was kind of cool

Just thought I'd throw that in there.

 

5. I joke around on msn sometimes about, I dunno, kissing and stuff. Like, I keep accusing him of using his school textbooks as surrogate girlfriends because he spends so much time with them, that sort of thing. He doesn't say anything to disabuse me of the idea - I think it's a nerdy type of flirting. Actually, I am TOTALLY inexperienced. Probably, so is he, although he's only shy when it comes to relationship-stuff.

This is my personal opinion, but on a first date, dont give him a kiss. At the end, it might be nice to ask him if he had a good time, if he says yes, give him a kiss on the cheek or something like that.

Then again, yall have known each other for a while so a kiss might turn out well. But I'm saying don't be making out in the movie theatre on yalls first date... trust me those rarely end well hahah..

 

 

Just try not to freak out, stay calm, smile, flirt some, try to be outgoing. And overall, just don't stress out and have a good time.

Chances are, if you enjoy yourself and have a good time, so will he.

 

I wish you the best of luck!

 

~Andrew

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Hey don't worry about anything except having a fun time with someone you like. That's the best advice I can give you.

 

1. So what if there's a cute guy behind the counter. It doesn't matter. He sees 100s of people everyday, you're just another person buying movie tickets.

 

2. Talk about anything you like. Ask him what he likes. You guys don't have to be talking the entire date. Just whenever you feel like it. Awkward silences can be scary but it just mean you're not use to him. Remember, you don't have to talk all the time.

 

3. It's your life. You don't have to impress anyone. Just have fun with it.

 

4. Just say happy birthday.

 

5. This one is up to him. He might be too shy to make the first move so don't worry about it.

 

So basically, relax and have fun.

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I don't even know you and I'm so proud! Way to go girl! Accept the uncomfortable feelings that may occur. SO normal! I've realized there's no way I can run from feeling that way when I got out on a date. Casino Royale, awesome movie choice, btw! Just enjoy the evening and remember, he's most definitely as nervous as you are. The whole thing sounds really positive, have FUN!

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