What do I do?

[peoplepower85]

Well you guys are probably sick of hearing this line but nevertheless.....

 

Theres this girl I really like. I first Saw her in my class in college (its very small class about 25 people) and i was blown away by her looks. I constantly caught her looking at me and got a really good vibe off this chick, eventually I got to know her and we get on really well together.we have lots in common and I consider her a really good friend now.

 

But She always flirts with me. We spend hours talking in her house and on the phone and she's always the one to ring me and invite me over and stuff. But. . . I found out a few months ago she has a boyfriend. When her and her boyfriend were on a break (I found out this after) we and out classmates went clubbing and she was all over me that night, but because I thought she was still with him I didn't make any move.

 

I've never seen nor met the guy and I get the impression she dosent want us to meet. They're back together now. So im being a two-faced bastard and im not letting her know how i feel as I fear she might feel strange me telling her that.

 

I dont know how she thinks of me. Just a friend? does she like me too? just looking for attention?

 

Im not being obsessive and I know she has a boyfriend but I've never had a bigger crush in my life. Any simular situations or advice for me?

 

Tanx

[friscodj]

Hey bro-

 

I was pumping my fist in the air for you until I read she had a boyfriend...it all sounded so perfect...

 

What does she think of you? The closest articulation is probably somewhere between "friend" and "boy toy". At any rate, you hit the nail exactly on the head when you said "she wants attention".

 

In my experience, there is no "good" solution here, only the "best", in the sense to seek to minimize your disappointment here.

 

First things first, I'd throw your cards down and tell her how you feel. See how she responds and go from there. Anything less than her leaving her guy to be with you (and especially any type of sympathetic reaction towards you) warrants your departure from her life until your crush fades. And this serves to get this off your chest so as not to have regrets about not doing so later on down the road.

 

The last thing you want to do is subject yourself to being a back-up plan, to pretend to be "just friends" when you really want more and can't have it, and the second-to-last thing you want to do is interfere with her, her relationship, and confuse the situation even more when she chose otherwise in light of your expression.

[addictedblue]

tell her how you feel. she might think that since you didn't do anything that night while her and her bf were on a break that you don't like her which was why they got back together. if you tell her you like her she might rethink that decision.

[Day_Walker]

So im being a two-faced bastard and im not letting her know how i feel as I fear she might feel strange me telling her that.

 

No, and you need to get that through your head that you are not being two faced by not telling her how you feel. You are being smart because you do not need to expose your position. All you need to be concerned with is does she have an interest in your more than a friend. If you believe the answer is yes then you proceed to get closer to her, if not then you back off. You do not need to tell her how you feel because she has a bf and that is not going to solve anything by telling her how you feel.

 

If you do decide to tell her how you feel then you might as well give her an ultimately so you completely kill your chance with this girl.

[peoplepower85]

Thanks man.

 

The thing is i am acually a good friend with her as things stand. I want to make more of it but Im almost sure that if I try telling her how I feel then she'll feel awkward and she's not going to be able to react the way I want her to due to her present relationship.

 

Another reason I dont want to tell her that is because I dont want to get involved in disturbing a relationship with her boyfriend. She even told me the other day that the fact that im friends with her is pissing her boyfriend off in a big way....so I dont know man.

[peoplepower85]

. If you believe the answer is yes then you proceed to get closer to her, if not then you back off. You do not need to tell her how you feel because she has a bf and that is not going to solve anything by telling her how you feel.

 

If you do decide to tell her how you feel then you might as well give her an ultimately so you completely kill your chance with this girl.

 

That seems to be a good option. Thanks bro!