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k, so I've been depressed recently for various reasons and then me and my girlfriends were supposed to go away to a spa for the weekend and have a relaxing pampering weekend to de stress and just relax and get away from everything and then I found out that I couldn't go because of work so I got even more depressed, especially at the thought that all my girlfriends were going to be out of town. Anyway, I have a guy friend and I basically burst into tears over the phone to him and spilled my guts to him about everything that I'm feeling right now, even to the point that I said I haven't had sex in months and a whole bunch of other stuff. I mean, he's really easy to talk to because he just listens and doesn't judge or anything.


Well when I got home I thought that I would just get wasted on wine, cry and then pass out but then I got a knock at the door and it was my guy friend and he had his arms full of loads of stuff and basically he's gone out and bought loads of girlie pampering stuff, like scrubs, and face masks and bath oils and all sorts. he said he was going to cheer me so he got me to sit down in the living room, gave me a glass of wine and then went into the bathroom and he set it all up with candles and a bubble bath and stuff. I mean, how sweet is that? And then when I was in the bath he gave me another glass of wine and some strawberries and he attempted to give me a facial and wash my hair. And then he gave me a massage, which was sooooo good and I got really turned on, and well basicaly one thing led to another and he pleasured me until I orgasmed. Then we both fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning he was gone.


I've always fancied him because not only is he lovely and sweet and funny, but he's drop dead gorgeous but what does this all mean? I mean, guys that are just friends don't go to all that trouble? Or do they? Does he fancy me too? Or was it really just a special night he planned to cheer me up and make me feel special and good about myself again? I can't stop thinking about it. It was amazing. I haven't seen or spoken to him since but we have texted, not about what happened but just general, everyday stuff. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

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He's normally kind of shy and doesn't generally talk about himself or how he's feeling. You have to prise it out of him to find out what he's thinking. We've been pretty good friends for a couple of years now so maybe he does value our friendship. I do too. He's a great friend but I do have these other feelings for him and this whole thing has only confirmed them. I don't want to put him on the spot because I know he'll get embarrassed, clam up and run away. I was thinking maybe I could e'mail him or something. But I'm not sure what to say? I don't want to tell him I fancy him if he doesn't fancy me back because then it'll be awkward.

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It sounds like you're both agonising over whether or not each of you fancies the other.

Why not let him know you fancy him? "Because then it'll be awkward"? Don't you think pleasuring your friend to orgasm is kind of awkward, anyway? (If not, you have amazing friends and I envy you

I think your friend has already put himself out on a limb here, and he's probably stressing out over how you'll react. (I know I would if I had the balls to do what he did, good on 'im! )

At the least, let him know you appreciate and enjoyed the effort he went to (in general terms), and create more time to spend together - that's probably a big enough hint to let things unfold further

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definitely don't let this one go!


Wow!! What a sweet sweet man! And gorgeous to boot!

That sure is a LOT of effort to go to, for just a 'friend'.....


email him!


I strongly disagree... in fact... you should give me his number to me so I can *erm* straighten him out






No he really does sound very sweet, let us know how it goes!

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Thanks you guys. He is pretty sweet isn't he? I e'mailed him like you said.


This is what I wrote....


Hiya Danny,


Hope your day is going okay! Mine is way boring so I thought I'd amuse myself by e'mailing you.


I wanted to say a huge thankyou for the other night. It was a huge surprise and I loved it. All of it. In fact, I've kind of been thinking about it a lot since. Have you?


Well, maybe I'll see you later on in the week?


Take care







Is that okay do you think? Or is it too casual? Or not casual enough?

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Sounds perfectly worded to me! It makes it clear that you'd like to explore what happened further, but places no pressure on anyone.

And even if it turns out to be nothing more than an honestly friendly event (*severe skepticism here* ), at least he knows it's cool and you can both move on as friends.

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Star, that was awesomely written!!


Good luck!! I have a good feeling about this one!


Haha Ice!! you are too funny!! -I've read a lot of your posts as well... and you're quite the catch yourself!!


I personally know a lot of guys who would be verrrrry interested in a man like you.... I think they would even be prepared to forgive the accent!

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Okay, I just got his reply.....




My day has been riveting so far. I'm hungover.....went to the football yesterday. We lost so I drowned my sorrows in beer.


About the other night. You're welcome. You didn't sound too happy when you rang me and I didn't like to think that you were gonna be on your own. I'm glad you liked it. Sorry I wasn't there when you woke up. Wasn't sure whether to stay or not.


We can go for a few drinks on wed night if you're free? FA Cup 3rd round replay is on and I know you love watching the football with me.





He didn't answer my question asking if he had been thinking about it. Although, I'm not sure I really expected him to. He didn't say that he liked it either. But then again, he didn't say it was a mistake either. Hmmmm, do I just pass it off as a one night thing? Or shall I push it a bit further and see what he does? What should I email back to him?

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I bet he's probably just as nervous and curious as you are...!!


If he was really really freaked out, he would be uncomfortable, and would probably avoid you -at least for awhile anyway.


It's a very good sign that he has initiated a catch up... and so soon as well!


He's probably trying to play it cool, until he knows if you're interested or not..


Suggesting a few drinks was a good idea, as it will help to relax the both of you..


Well, you could either approach the 'topic' again via email, or wait until you see him in person...? -maybe the chemistry will take over and no 'talk' will be necessary..?


Perhaps you could broach the subject by asking him if he is "ok with what happened between the two of you" ?? -or if he feels comfortable with it?

-that way it might open up a conversation about it..


A similar thing happened to me once, and I think we broached the subject in an IM conversation, before we caught up again... the conversation just came up -but I felt better that the air was cleared before we caught up in person.

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Well, I reckon that if he felt he had made a mistake, that reply was the perfect place for him to say so and he didn't. Worst-case, it was a once-off but he's cool with it (hardly a very bad worst-case ), but I, like Jazzkat, think he's just cautious and uncertain himself. I think you email (especially the "I loved it. All of it." comment) made it clear what was on your mind, and it does seem as though he's going along with it rather than clarifying and correcting you. Green lights so far


I think you have an easy opening, too, either by email or in person: you can always ask, half-jokingly, for another massage and see what happens!

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Wow, this could be a movie! I think you are both approaching this in a really mature way, your email dropped just enough hints to say, "I like you and I'd like to talk about us" and his email had enough hints to say, "Yeah I like you to, we should definitely talk."


So many layers here, it's got me on pins and needles and it's not even happening to me

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I e'mailed him back. I'm not too sure I've said the right thing but I've done it now. If you don't go for it no one else will do it for you will they? So this is what I wrote....


Wed sounds good. Who's playing? I'll bring a book shall I?


It's fine that you left while I was asleep. It got me thinking though. I mean, I think I'd have liked waking up next to you actually. You're a pretty great guy. You're probably blushing now aren't you? haha!


Anyway, let me know about Wed.




What do you think??

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If I were you, don't talk any more by email about the relationship, just make the plans for Wednesday. Without seeing the person's face, there can be mis-communications. I think what you said is fine, but this could get more complicated than it needs to be if you continue. Once you actually see him and he sees you... well lets just say it'll be better than email.

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Zerohalo, I have to agree and disagree with you. Nice story as this might be, I'm afraid it just doesn't fit the romantic comedy mold. The initial attraction has to be followed by a conflict that separates them, a miscommunication that leaves both angsting for each other (cue split-screen moping scene), and finally a critical intervention that brings them back together for a kiss before the credits roll For Starlight's sake I hope it avoids all that movie drama

But darn me if I haven't been vicariously glued to this story as it's unfolded anyway.


On a more serious note, I also agree that email has served its purpose for now. Nice going Starlight!

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His reply.....


"Not sure which game will be on telly yet. Hopefully ours, in which case you won't need a book cos obviously we're an extremely entertaining team.


Yeah, I blushed. I must be getting the flu or something. Wouldn't have minded staying. Maybe next time you get all girlie, depressed and hysterical.


Off home now. Speak soon






I think I'm going to kiss him on wednesday. Well, I think I'm going to try to anyway. I'll let you all know what happens. Arrgghhh.....how nerve-wracking!


Thanks for all your advice people!

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