online personals - Worth it to respond to profiles w/o pics?

[philosophia]

I've started using link removed again. Is it worth it to message those profiles that match you, but don't have pics attached? I'm thinking maybe these are women who are either

a. heinous looking

b. too shy or embarrassed to post pics

c. good looking, but want to message guys they like only, and not be flooded by guys messaging them just based on their pics

 

 

If it is b and/or c - they might only be interested in people they message. The reason I ask is because it takes a long time to write an initial message, I like to write a couple paragraphs at least and tailor it to whoever I'm writing to.

[annie24]

sure, you may as well try to message them. But make sure to ask for a pic in the first e-mail. ie, write a short message, like a paragraph, ask her some questions about her hobbies or interests, and say, "can you send me your pic?"

 

(On the other hand, I am pretty skeptical of men without a pic. I am wondering if they are married or not who they say they are. I usually give them one chance to send their pic, and if they don't, that's it.)

 

good luck!

[laboheme]

I personally don't think that you should limit yourself to profiles with pictures. It could be that the profile is new and she simply hasn't gotten around to putting up a picture yet. It could be that any pictures she has of herself don't reflect reality...And yes, the reasons you gave could be true as well. But keep in a mind -- if a girl is too shy to post a picture, maybe she'll be too shy to send an initial message, too...So why not give her a hand there? And if she's using it to weed out those who judge based on appearance, don't you think she'll be impressed that you sent her a message based on her words alone?

 

I say go for it. Just make sure that you don't message those who lack pictures because they just don't care enough to put one up -- but you'll be able to tell, because those girls will not have detailed, interesting profiles. I'm sure you knew that already.

 

I do like your approach to writing initial messages, by the way! Tailoring to the person is always good

[philosophia]

 

I do like your approach to writing initial messages, by the way! Tailoring to the person is always good

 

It is a lot of work though, sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it seems a lot of my messages just get deleted with no response. A friend of mine has text files he just cuts and pastes from and changes the name. I wouldn't want to do that though. Seems insincere.

[annie24]

It is a lot of work though, sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it seems a lot of my messages just get deleted with no response. A friend of mine has text files he just cuts and pastes from and changes the name. I wouldn't want to do that though. Seems insincere.

 

honestly, I can tell those too! the ones where it's obviously the same e-mail he sent to 100 other women. I don't usually respond to those unless i am VERY intrigued by the man for some reason.

 

I think it is good to personally tailor it to each woman, but I wouldn't recommend spending insane amounts of time on it either. that's why I'd just go with a paragraph or two.

[cpc28655]

Even though I don't do online dating, this makes perfect sense. There could be many reasons as to why there is no pic. Can't hurt to find out.

[anggrace]

I personally tried the online dating before and did not post a photo. I also did not send messages. I wanted to see if anyone would be interested in what I had to say enough to contact me. If they did and I was interested, Id send a photo. It seemed to work for me. I didnt want someone to let my looks be their reason to contact me.

[cpc28655]

I personally tried the online dating before and did not post a photo. I also did not send messages. I wanted to see if anyone would be interested in what I had to say enough to contact me. If they did and I was interested, Id send a photo. It seemed to work for me. I didnt want someone to let my looks be their reason to contact me.

 

Makes perfect sense to me.

[Aurian]

Thing is, I have a photo. Since I am sharing my face, I kinda expect the guy to have a photo. While looks aren't everything, there should be some level of attraction there. I assume the guy messages me partially because he likes my looks and because he likes what I have to say. So no photo? Sorry, next one. I also feel like the guy isn't really serious about online dating since photos are accepted as important on every site (some even tell you not to expect many responses without one!). If he can't take the time to scan a picture, then why would he take the time to get to know me and ask me out?