Any tips for long distance relationships?

[zrehman]

Hey, I'll make this short. Me and my gf have been going out for a year now and we lived about 20 min from each other. Within the last 3 months we lived together and our relationship went amazing! We love each other a lot, and now we are completely IN LOVE with each other and are content to be with each other forever. She has told her mom about me which is a big deal since her mom has only met one other guy in her life that she was in love with back in college. In April, I will be going to meet her mom, which I think is a big step.

 

I am going to Med School right now, so basically, I am here from Jan - April and she will be visiting in March for 10 days. Than I will be back home with her in April for 2 weeks. Than again, May - August, gonna be at Med School and she will visit either in June or July. Than I'll be back in August for 2 weeks with her again. Than be gone Sept - December, she will visit in October and than I will be back in December for 2 weeks, and than FINALLY, my last semester Jan - April and than I will be home for good.

 

So far we are talking on the phone EVERYDAY more than once a day and sometimes for 20 min, but sometimes for hours. Things are still going great and we are just anxious to see each other in March, 44 days!!!

 

Does anyone have any tips on how to keep a long distance reationship strong??

 

Thanx

[Aurian]

definitely talk to each other, even just to touch base, almost every day. If the phone calls are expensive, you could try getting a chat program like MSN. If you have a microphone, you can talk over that for free!

 

Its always cool to send a little package or gift in the mail. They don't have to be fancy, but when you're apart, its so nice to have something physical. Mail her one of your shirts, or something small and cute that reminded you of her. They don't have to be fancy, its the thought that counts most of all.

 

It gets hard just talking all the time, so perhaps try some way to DO something together. You could both rent the same movie, chat a bit before, watch it at the same time and then chat about it afterwards so that it feels a bit like a date. You could also sign up for free games on the MSN Game Zone. You need to download a bit of software, but you can then play checkers, chess, othello and such together.

[zrehman]

Those are all great ideas! So far we chat on SKYPE, I have an account there, so I call her cell phone for about 2 cents a minute, which isn't bad at all. We also web cam on skype. She can see me and we talk on the phone while she looks at me. We also email each other everyday just about our day and what we are going to do the next day.

 

For Valentines day I will obviously send her roses. But by Feb.14, it will be only 14 more days till she comes. So it won't seem long at all

 

Is what we are doing right now good??

[Aurian]

Sounds good to me! And this long-distance relationship has an "end" to it as well as some visits together to break up the time apart, so you'll have lots of things to look forward to together. Its good that you're thinking now about how to keep things fresh.

 

I've read this book, and they do have a few chapters on how to freshen up time apart: link removed. The book is good and positive about long-distance relationships, but you might find just as much advice here!

[Daligal83]

I think what you are doing is great. I'm doing the LDR thing (actually my boyfriend is in Buffalo! I went to UB for undergrad and am job hunting to go back) and what we do is just chat on the phone everyday and talk online when it works out. I've sent him a care package when I first got back to school in September, but haven't had a chance to put together another one. I just sent him cookies and something for his new apartment and a card, which is has been on his dresser since he got it. We schedule visits when we can, but it's tough because he works part time and I don't have a car.

 

Basically you guys have to figure out what works for you. I think Aurian has given you some great ideas. Just remember to do sweet things for her because she can't get that physical attention. It makes me so happy to wake up to an IM or facebook message from my boyfriend, or to get an email while I'm at my internship. Just little things to reassure me that he's thinking of me while we're apart.

 

If you ever need to talk about it, feel free to PM me

[zrehman]

Cool thanks. I also wanted to know what I should do. Because I'm here in Med School all by myself. I really don't have any friends here, so all I do is study and take a break to watch TV. So I have a lot of time on my hands. I don't want to spend all my time IMing her and calling her and annoying her. She herself wants to keep herself busy so that she can get through her days faster because its break for her till Jan 22nd than school starts. But like today, I haven't heard from her, we spoke on the phone around 3am and talked for a good 30 min. We said I LOVE YOU and goodnite and all that mushy stuff and she told me, "Ever since I met you, I can't imagine being with anyone else" stuff like that, which put a huge smile on my face.

 

So is there like a rule, of how often I should message her or IM her. She is hardly on the computer but when I send her an IM it goes straight to her phone and she can reply to it. So how much is enough to keep her missing me but not annoying her?? Any help there?

[heloladies21]

Good to hear the both of you doing well. Had a feeling you two would work out .

 

So as far as how much to contact, there is no rule. You contact her as you please. She's your gf.

[skype]

Hey guys--I work for Skype, I'm always eager to hear how couples are using the software to stay in touch. Drop me a line if you have time: email removed, or "indrisek" on Skype. Thanks so much!

[anggrace]

I travel alot for work so Im often in the same boat. As conveniant as computers are, I think its very romantic to send a hand written letter or card. It doesnt have to be long. Just a note to let her know your thinking of her.

[redpoppy99]

Congratulations on finding such a wonderful relationship! My advice to you is to keep talking as much as possible and always be honest with one another. Maybe once a month, send her a flower or a card to let her know you are still in love with her and still thinking of her. See each other when possible and don't do anything to break the trust. It's hard enough with little or no trust when you can see each other everyday- dealing with it long distance can be a relationship killer! Long distance can be difficult but it isn't impossible! And it sounds like you two are very committed to one another so the outlook is looking good!

[ten]

you will be on the phone a lot. for hours on end.

never. ever. ever. get frustrated when one person has nothing to say.

this is just a small tip coming from someone who just got his heart broken in a 7 month LDR. never let her lose interest. talking about your day to day business is not enough. engage, 'talk about philosophy and things like that' my ex said to me. really take the time to share everything about your life and learn everything about yours... and try your hardest to remember everything. best of luck to you. treat her well