Blended families

[BBT]

I haven't posted for awhile, but things have dramatically changed in my life for the extreme better ! I am finally getting along with the ex, and I am now in a relationship with a man that I believe to be my soulmate. My question is... I have two young kids... 3 and 10 months. We plan to have a child of our own some day, and I was just wondering... any ideas as to what my kids can call my boyfriend instead of his first name? How difficult is it for such young children to call their stepdad by his first name, and if you have a child together, that one calling him dad??? We were talking about this the other day.... and i thought i would post the question to get some ideas.

[honeyspur]

I would just take the opportunity to mention it to them as an option whenever they express how much they like him. If they had a good time with him at a restaurant, for example, you could say, "I bet he'd love it if you called him Dad....". If they don't seem thrilled by the idea, you could say, "Just something to think about..." Then, maybe after thinking about it, it'll just pop out one day!

It's best to let them decide - some kids never do because of their own connection to the stepdad. I know a blended family of six kids and the girls adore their step-mom, but only call her by her first name. Allow it to not be strange and it won't be, I'm guessing. Congrats on your happy family!

[Mythical_Suicide]

IMO as the previous poster said it is the childs right to decide whether they call him dad or by his first name. They are far too young at this time to be making that decision so I say ina few years when they're older bring it up. But for the time being have them call him by his name.

Is their father still in the picture? if so thats a whole other reason not to have them calling this guy dad. I would never be comfortable with my son calling someone else mom.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

This is not as complicated as you think... their biological dad can be called Daddy (or whatever they already call him), and their step-dad, can be Dad, or any variation under the sun, Pop, Poppa, Pops, Dads, DaDa, any other affectionate name you or the kids make up that suits him...

 

kids have a way of nicknaming those they are affectionate with, so try some different nicknames on for size and see how they fit, and one will stick, and all the kids can use it to help them feel like true siblings...

 

There is also nothing wrong with having two 'Dad's in an extended family, calling them both Dad, since it is a title showing the person's relationship to the kids as a parent figure, and doesn't need to belong to only one Dad...

 

If the kids want to call both parents Dad, then the adults should overcome any jealousy they feel towards the other parent, since kids should be allowed to love their parent figures deeply and without worrying about making their parents jealous of one another... the parents are after all adults, and should put the happiness of the kids first, and not worry that a name will usurp their place in their children's lives, it won't...