distressed and confused

[dennymarie]

Not sure really which topic this would fall under....several if you were to ask. Im desparate for advice and not may fall under this topic even though the problem exists......porn addiction.

 

After 1 1/2 year of marriage and a emotionally taxing on and off relationship for 7 years i've discovered my husband whom has been using adult internet porn sites, after denials and demands to stop i received proof and confronted the situation. The kicker was not only was he posting pictures of himself but of an realtionship he had while during the "off" portion of our relationship with his ex being the mother of his child they had before our relationship began He denied any reconsiliation with her while we were apart, not only were there consentual pictures of her there were non-consentual pictures of myself....now known as a criminal offense...horrifying as well, so at this point he's lied to me all in all. Through the years I always felt as if I wasnt being treated properly by any of them (the ex, the child as well as himself) always referred to myself as the Maid/Babysister anything but a loving wife. I feel as thought I gave him everything under the sun and very deceived by all of this. He claims to have made a huge mistake with all of this and is truly very sorry and knows he's crushed our relationship and trust.

 

For whatever reason i've felt sorry for him and guilty and didnt leave with the promise to "get help" so far 2 months later...no help, he indicates to me that he knows he's done something wrong and will never do it again, I live with this like it was a nightmare with the lies for years, and it eats away at me and our relationship not to mention the child lives with us and is a constant reminder....help should I have separated from him right from the beginning is this the right thing to do currently.

 

true story ...need opinions desperately

[robowarrior]

The bottomline:

 

YOU DONT WANT TO BE WITH A LIAR!

 

So don't waste your time on salvaging this relationship, its over and done for. Why?

 

Because YOU deserve to be NR.1 in the life of your partner.

 

And you are not, so you are richer without him.

 

File for a divorce, and never blame yourself for its not your fault he is returning to porn or his ex. If he wants that, fine... But not in your life.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

i really think that you should insist on marriage counseling with him to see how serious he is about restoring your trust and changing his behavior... lots of people, especially men, are into looking at porn, but posting your own pictures without permission is totally unacceptable behavior, as is lying to you about it...

 

i think in marriage counseling you can learn whether this is worth saving or not, but if he refuses to go with you, then i think it is pretty clear that he is not really sincere about changing his behavior, just trying to pacify you and hoping you'll forget about it...