BeStrongBeHappy Posted January 14, 2007 Share Posted January 14, 2007 It sounds like things got really out of hand with you two, and he may have just been threatening you about the police because he was so mad and just wanted to get left alone... i think the police would put this low on their list of things to investigate/follow up on, and he would have to go to court to get this order, which would cost him time and money... so i suggest you just leave him totally alone, don't call him, text him, talk to him, do ANYTHING related to him, just move on. but recognize that in the future, the best way to break up is to really break away from the person, move on, let it go, find someone better. Link to comment
sandyv Posted January 14, 2007 Share Posted January 14, 2007 OMG scary stuff, but Sweet Jade don't feel too bad, I too,have done some extreme stuff, (to embarrassed to even talk about) It will pass, and you will be ok..... you'll laugh about this later on down the line I bet...... And btw this doesn't make you a terrible person, believe me, when we are hurt, humiliated, heartbroken these things do happen, you'll be ok, believe me.... Hugzz Sandy Link to comment
SweetJade Posted January 14, 2007 Author Share Posted January 14, 2007 I think what really pushed me over the edge was the things he said to me because I found out what a liar/cheater that he was. When I confronted him, he told me things like I was pathetic and that he never gave a d*mn about me and that I was nothing but a cheap h*e to him. Then he proceeded to hang up the phone on me. That made me feel so used and angry that I had to get revenge and now I realise how stupid that made me look.To make matters worse, I found out that he slept with one of my so called friends!! Do you know how emotionally draining this is to me? Everyone thinks he's such a funny good guy when he isn't. He's the devil in disguise. What a pathetic human being that he has to resort to prostitutes for sex. Right now I'm just so hurt and confused. Oddly I still have feelings for the creep and at the same time I just want to hurt him. I'm cutting contact off with him, I feel so depressed right now that it's crazy. I'm constantly walking around in a daze and I have butterflies in my stomach from worrying about this police thing. I feel like I'm headed for a nervous breakdown, I will be strong and I'm trying to seek out a psychiatrist that will help me get through this.. Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 You are allowing your ex to continue to hurt you and make you feel like crap...you are allowing him to control and ruin your life. He hurt you, so allow yourself to feel the pain without trying to get even. It could backfire and end up hurting you more than it hurts him. Move on, he is not worth your time and energy. It also sounds like you should consider talking to someone professionally about what he did and how it made you feel because you are not dealing with it in a constructive way. Link to comment
sandyv Posted January 15, 2007 Share Posted January 15, 2007 Hey Sweet, don't be so down on yourself, me I do understand, bc I've been there, maybe like you, maybe a little more than most people on this board. When someone hurts us like that, we can go ballistic, I know I have done similar stuff.... its like being possessed basically, bc your in love and you've been hurt, its sucks...... But that being said, take care of yourself, it will work out ok I'm sure Sandy Link to comment
SweetJade Posted January 16, 2007 Author Share Posted January 16, 2007 Thanks Sandy!! You seem so cool and sweet. Thanks everyone for their input I really appreciate it. I think I'm safe now, I think what my ex said was all a bluff and I'm sure the police would have done something by now.So now I will just look forward to my future and focus on me, I hope that things will look better in time! Link to comment
SweetJade Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 UPDATE!!!! He actually went through with the procedure. I just got a call from a cop. We had a nice conversation, she just basically gave me a warning. Saying that I cannot have anymore contact with my ex or I'll be arrested. We can't even see one another, Which is fine with me. Which makes it sooo much easier for me to move on with my life! What a loser! It bothers me that I spent sooo much time and energy on a jerk. How ironic, he calls the cops on me when he could have been busted messing with prostitutes. Hmmm, I'm very hurt and bitter right now but I'll be fine in time I suppose. Maybe one day I'll find my dream person! Everything just seems so depressing right now... Link to comment
kellbell Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Well, it was highly unlikely you were going to jail but if anything you would get a warning, which you did. Yes, this guy is nothing to be desired. Take this a lesson. I hope you feel better soon! (((hugs))) Link to comment
SweetJade Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 Well, it was highly unlikely you were going to jail but if anything you would get a warning, which you did. Yes, this guy is nothing to be desired. Take this a lesson. I hope you feel better soon! (((hugs))) I should be really lucky. I really need to control my anger, I think and act irrationally when I'm under a great amount of stress. I think this will make me soo much stronger. It makes me want to focus on me now, I really just want some time alone to myself to rediscover myself and ask myself how did I get involved with such a loser. Right now it seems lonely but I've been through so much worse. I'll be alright in time... Link to comment
2bMRSG07 Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I can totally understand. I felt that way after my ex and I broke up. I wanted him to hurt so bad in anyway possible. He was in another state so I really couldnt do anything. It was only that which prevented me from acting up. Since this is your first offense you wont have to serve any jail time. They will hit you with a restraining order and that should be about it. After that PLEASE leave him alone, I know that it is hard. I know because I am in that kind of pain now, but for your sake you have to leave him alone. He isnt worth ruinning your life over. You are blessed to not have any other scars but a broken heart. Take that as a gift! Link to comment
SweetJade Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 I have a question, is it it normal to still miss him even after he treated me the way he did? I know he's a jerk but he just had this charming way about him that made me feel like he understood me and knew where I was coming from. I know that was all a fake now but I really miss the conversations. I think I have an obsession over him more than anything. Why should I still pine over someone that doesn't give a crap about me?? That tells me that I have some serious issues! I've never really been close to anyone and now I'm just lonely alot. He was the only one that was there for me sadly and now that he's gone... He's left me seriously alone and confused. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this. I'm even having this fantasy where he changes his ways and comes back to me in the future. I know this is not healthy at all and I just want to forget he existed. Link to comment
kellbell Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Hey there, "I have a question, is it it normal to still miss him even after he treated me the way he did? I know he's a jerk but he just had this charming way about him that made me feel like he understood me and knew where I was coming from." Someone wise once told me, "we always mourn for the person whom did not exist" after a relationship ends. You are missing what COULD HAVE been and/or the person whom you THOUGHT your ex was. The reality is, he cannot be trusted, violated your trust, slept with others, is a liar, called the COPS on you, and has no morals. The sooner you realize and digest the man your ex TRULY is, the less you miss him, the less you will think about him. I know this is hard and the mind can play tricks on us. (i.e. remembering the good times, thinking he was charming, understood, etc...). But we have to FORCE ourselves to think of the reality of the situation. It is all about perspective. Hang in there, you are doing great! Link to comment
SweetJade Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 Hey Kellbell! The way you put it makes alot of sense! I do find myself thinking about what he "PROJECTED" himself to be rather than what he is.That really hit me now... There's so many people out there that will treat me with respect and love! Why should I obsess over him? I don't get it? Now thinking about the negative makes me hate him. Maybe I should start focusing on the negative and not the positive. All I know is that Karma is truly real and he will get what's coming to him. It's funny how I'm not the only person he's done this too. Because I met my ex off of the internet and coincidentally I've met a female friend off of the same site that I met him from. She knew him and he basically did the same thing to her, what's worse was that he stole money from her and changed his number. I should be lucky that he didn't do all of that to me. It's no telling who all he's done this too because now that I think about it, this guy has serious issues! He's supposedly working on an album now here in Atlanta Georgia.I'm not going to be bitter, I'm going to be a bigger person and wish him success, I just hope he changes his ways and gets his life right. I do feel like he will get his after all of the women he scorned. Now after meeting this girl, I don't feel as bad as I do but it still hurts still though. He's headed for a downfall seriously and I don't get how people can be this cruel and evil.. Link to comment
kellbell Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Hey there, "Maybe I should start focusing on the negative and not the positive." Perhaps think about the reality of the situation, this guy was no good for you and broke your heart (the negative aspect) but also think of it in a positive light too. What have you learned from him, from the relationship, what mistakes did you make, what were the signs, what have you learned about yourself and finally, what will you do different next time? All of my break ups have been blessings in disguise. I learned so much from my ex's, so much about myself, what my patterns were and broke them. My pain and heartache has forced me to change and grow. It has given knowledge and wisdom I can share with and bring to my current boyfriend, whom is awesome in every way. Also, the bad relationships I have had in the past has allowed me to treasure my boyfriend and realize he is truly a blessing in my life. Again, it is all about perspective. Link to comment
SweetJade Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 Thanks Kellbelle! You're are so right about break-ups being blessings in disguise.I've learned alot from this!! Even though I'm still bitter and hurt. It's getting easier. It makes me want to focus on my life and my future more. It really made me want to do better for myself. In all it has really changed me. I learned to not put so much trust in a man for my happiness. It must come within myself and I had to learn that the hard way. Funny how a year ago I went on the INTERNET looking for this guy. I was lonely then and when I found him I was happy for awhile until I saw his true colors! I wish I was more wiser a year ago because I'm now at the same spot I was then alone again! Meaning no PROGRESS! I also learned that I shouldn't go LOOKING for a man when I don't even have my life straight. Maybe it's best that I'm alone now to find myself. Somedays are easier than others and I just hope eventually I can find it in myself to forgive him and move on with my life.What he does is no longer any of my concern. Like I said, the guy has serious issues and it's a good thing he's out of my life. Kellbell thank you for listening and being there for a stranger! You made me feel better! Link to comment
kellbell Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Hey there, I am glad you are feeling better. It is normal to feel angry and bitter. But at the same time, some good can come out this too. Hang in there. You are doing great! Link to comment
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