What does this mean?

[SoontobeRN]

Hi All!!!!!

 

Long story short=my ex broke up with my in the summer totally out of the blue; then when I asked him to help me through it all, he wrote me off and stopped talking to me (that was the hardest part); I was depressed and sad for about 3 months...I'm currently over him and am with an amazing new guy!!

 

I just seen a picture of my ex and I got really nervous and then found myself trying to add things to my myspace to make him jealous and make him see that I'm happy. What does all that mean? Is that normal?

 

I also find myself getting easily reminded of him at least once a day but it doesn't phase me-I find myself getting mad at myself for still letting him into my head but I don't have control over it...it usually happens because I'm reminded from something we did together!

 

So, what does all that mean?

THANKS FOR EVERYONE'S INPUT

It ALL helps!!!

 

STB

[doyathink]

To me, I think your not totally over this guy. If you were....you wouldn't be letting him take up any room in your head.

[renaissancewoman101]

I agree with doyathink. You're not over the guy. Sometimes it take a long time to get over someone and you may not be completely over him, even if you think you are.

 

So, the new guy you are getting involved with could be a rebound. Be careful, so that you dont hurt his feelings or get drawn into a reliving on your breakup (because feeling can just come up out of the blue).

 

I was still having weird feelings about my ex 6 months after the breakup. I thought I was over him and then I went to a Ren Faire (something my ex and I were really into) and memories of him overcame me and I cried my heart out because I still missed him.

[evening_light]

found myself trying to add things to my myspace to make him jealous and make him see that I'm happy

 

Why would you make him "jealous" when you have a new guy and your happy??

 

I woudn't put anything on, that in the future I would regret!!

[Lady Bugg]

I can't say you're not over your ex...because I don't know HOW you feel.

The heart is a weird thing...once someone is in there it's impossible to get them out. It's not neccessarily a BAD thing, as long as you understand that it doesn't mean you were meant to be together. I think it's perfectly normal to still think of an ex....and yes...thinking of ways to provoke them are also normal...but you need to ask yourself WHY you need to do this, and what you

hope to accomplish? If you can answer these questions honestly....maybe that will clarify things more for you.

 

Hope that helps

[harmonious]

I was doing the same thing with an ex for awhile after I'd started dating a new guy. I knew the ex still read my livejournal, so I posted lots of stuff about how happy I was and how great my life was, etc. I still occasionally glanced at his journal or read his AIM profile or away message. I just really wanted 1. to discover that he was miserable, as revenge for how he had made me feel in the past. and 2. to prove to him that I was better and happier without him.

 

Finally, I realized doing so was just dumb of me. I needed to cut him entirely out of my life. So I took his screen name off my buddy list and I made my livejournal friends only so he couldn't read it anymore, and I made myself stop reading his.

 

I'd suggest you unfriend your ex on myspace (or, if you've already done that step, just make yourself promise to stop looking at his page, and only post things on yours for the other people who read it -- forget that your ex will ever see it). It's natural to want revenge/want to prove you're happier now to your ex, but if you let it go on for too long it becomes, in my opinion, unhealthy. I let it go on for over a year, personally, and once I stopped, I felt really liberated.

 

I still am reminded of him by random things sometimes, but with more indifference now. Not knowing what he's up to in life at the moment and knowing that he doesn't know what I'm up to right now creates a much needed distance. Otherwise, you could stay in this sort of "competition" with him to prove that you're happier until the day you die, and think of all the time and thoughts you'd waste on that when you could be spending that time really BEING happy with your new boyfriend.

[SoontobeRN]

Hi Everyone...thanks so much for your input! That was the first time I've ever had to go through a break up so I'm still learning things and am still not sure what's normal.

 

DOYA and RENAISSANCE If I were you, I would say that same thing about someone who posted like I did, but I really can assure you, that I am over him. I don't ever want to get back together with him, don't want to see him and don't want to be his friend. He hurt me too much for me to ever respect him again.

 

EVENING LIGHT I never looked at it that way-I didn't think I'd regret it if I put it on, but you're right-I would regret it only because it might hurt him...and even though he was awful to me, I still wouldn't want to hurt anyone like he did me-even if it was him. I'd rather just forget about him which I think is what I'm trying to do but I know that won't work.

 

LADY BUG and HARMONIOUS I totally agree with you guys. I'm trying to seek revenge on him and make him feel the way I did and see how happy I am now WITHOUT him, but if I succeeded with that, I think I would regret doing that to someone.

A weird thing that I also find is I see my ex's name everywhere (by that I mean, I notice it) and then I get mad at myself for recognizing it_BUT, I think that I'm trying to NOT SEE IT, which is making me look for it even harder in hopes that I won't see it anywhere...and when I do see it, it makes me wonder what all of that means (I KNOW THIS SOUND STUPID). Like, I'll be on my computer and the TV will be on in the background, and for NO REASON, I'll turn around and the credits of a show will be rolling, and his name will be on the screen for a second-that's the kind of stuff I get mad at because I think, FOR WHAT REASON DID I JUST TURN AROUND...and I can't come up with an answer so when Lady Bug said "it doesn't mean you were meant to be together", I think that when I DO see his name and didn't mean to, that "meant to be" theory comes into my head-BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO BE TRUE!!!

 

That probably doesn't make any sense to you guys, but it's just me being crazy and thinking on things too much.

 

ANY OTHER THOUGHTS ANYONE?

THANKS SOOOO MUCH!!!

 

STB