Who is to say what I should or shouldn't do?

[sreupert]

About 6-7 months ago my girlfriend, of a year, and I had broken up. It was devestating for me. I became depressed, Self induldged, needy and all of those very negative things.I was looking at my life with a pestomistic attitude. Even though on the outside I remained very positive. I new there was something bothering me deep down and it wasn't my girlfriend. I new that it lied within me and was probably part of the reason we broke up. Well, lets just say this is where it all begins. At this point in my life I decided I was going to take controll of my life . That I was no longer going to live a life that was filled will guilt, fear, and anxiety. I had been living a life like this for too long. I picked up a lot of books and read them. I have not only read them I have incorpoortated them into my life. I understand what it takes to get what I want out of life. I have created a lot of good things since we broke up. I have started my own business, increased my excersise(which was already pretty good), surrounded myself with good friends, met with a couselor, all the good things your are supposed to do. The Challenge I am having is that I still think about her all the time. I have done the no contact thing for months on end and It hasn't seemed to work. I will run into her at the gym or her roomate at the grociery store. After these meeting I cringe, quiver, want to crawl out of my skin, get sick, you name it it happens. I can handle it but would rather have it stop. I need to put this to rest. She is dating someone new. I know it and hate it. Well, I emailed her last night after seeing her roomate at the gym and asked her if we could do lunch sometime. She replied Yes... let me know when. Then I replied with: I'm pretty open what does your schedule look like. I haven't had a responce yet I'm trying to prepare myself for the encounter. I want to put things to rest. This was a woman I was very attracted to. She is driven, confident, fun loving, has good morals, good family. a lot of qualities I believe to be good. I miss a lot of these things and I become down and almost paralized when I think about her. It affects how I approach my life and I need to put an end to it. Has anyone ever broken the no contact or what I would call repression, and just faced the issue and had success?

[Dorsay]

It didn't work well with me. I was doing relatively well before I called my ex. The only good thing that came out from the call is that I probably lifted his spirits before the holiday. Why do you want to see your ex? Can you handle just to be friends?

[sreupert]

I'm not sure if I can just be friends but I want to put these feelings to rest.

[Dorsay]

The first time that I contacted him after we broke up was to put things to rest. I am glad that I did it. Good luck with your meeting and hope it will either bring you peace or bring you guys together.