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Backing off in time possible?

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I've met a woman who I feel very strongly about. We see each other casually nearly every day and went for a drink the other night and had what I considered to be a really good time. But after that I ramped it up a bit and expressed how I was very interested in her which might have spooked her. I'm concerned she thinks I'm needier than I really am. My question is this, can a woman be brought back into a normal frame of mind if I back off from professing strong feelings and return things to a slower pace? Or is it one of those things where the damage is done? She claimed she was still interested in seeing me but she seems tentative. Any approaches you think might work would be appreciated. She's worth it.

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Why don't you wait a few days longer than it usually takes you to call her. If the two of you have another date don't mention how you feel about her again seeing as how she already knows. Make sure your next date is somewhat casual too. I think it's possible to de-spook her. Just be light and fun until you're sure that her feelings are on the same page. (She'll probably let you know.)

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Welcome to ENA Simbirsk! Good to have you here...


Well, the answer to your question will come in time here. You said your piece, what's done is done, now leave it until she brings it up or you feel an overwhelming weirdness between you two you feel might be pushing her further away as time goes on. In that case, I'd maybe mention something to the effect of, "You know, the other night, I said somethings that were a little too deep I think." Then go from there.


The fact that she is still interested in seeing you is good. See which direction her tentative behavior goes and go from there. In the meanwhile, bring this to a "normal" frame of mind as you put it in your own mind first and then follow up on that with keeping things casual as you have been doing.

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can a woman be brought back into a normal frame of mind

Yes! And it can happen as quickly as the first few seconds of your next conversation with her. You learned your lesson, so let go of your mistake and concentrate on being that fun guy she's been talking to this whole time.


And don't pull back too far (she'll think you're not interested) and don't be tentative (she'll get weirded out by you being different). Go back to what was working.

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So I took the consensus advice and just went back to being casual friendly and cooled off on the emotional stuff and it worked. She called me to say she would like to meet this week to do something together. Guess it's true that at times less can be more.


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I made a mistake like that before, I'm sure alot of guys have. I simply waited a while, and had a talk with her. I knew that I had jumped the gun, and that's what I told her. I believe I also said something to the effect of "I can't promise we will be right for each other, but I can promise we won't regret finding out." We dated for about 6 months. I kept my promise too, we parted on friendly terms, and are still buddies today.

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