When your ex's boyfriend e-mails you...

[coolbloke1978]

This is so weird it's like out of a movie. My original story can be found here:

 

 

 

I had not had closure at all and thought I had moved on after not having any contact with my ex for about 8 months. Then bizarrely I met him at a nightclub and I just kinda went blank. Still I spoke to him. He was very "pally" and kept insinuating how great his life was and how he now has a new place in London with his "friend". Upon probing I found out it was actually his boyfriend he was referring to. (Who wasn't with him incidentally). I found it odd that in the 5 minutes I spoke to him he did not ask once about how I was - it was just...oh I got a new job, Ive stopped smoking, I've got a new place and so on and so forth. Needless to say I was a tad crushed and envious and felt as though my life hadn't progressed at all and heck I was still single.

 

Anyway a few days, ago I sent out a mass text to everyone in my Phone Book about something on TV. It was a spur of the moment thing and I didn't realise the consequences it would have. The next day I received an e-mail from an acquaintance of mine (someone I kinda know and flirt with occasionally when I see him out and we have been friendly for some time and I've slept with his best friend!!!)...asking if I was Paul's ex? I said thats weird why do u ask that. Because it turns out this guy is actually my ex's boyfriend!!!! And he was ever so eager to chat to me which I was bemused by. It turns out there is no place being bought they are just going to be renting and pretty much everything my ex said was utter rubbish!

 

Anyway this guy has been e-mailing me since. And I find that really odd. Would you contact your boyfriend's ex??? I have been evasive about any questions asked about my ex purely because I do not wanna be the stalker ex but at the same time pleasant enough.

 

Its so strange. Now I know what this closure is. It's when you dont care. If I want to I can wreck this relationship to smithereens. But it's not my style. Anyway to cut a long story short...why is this guy contacting me? It's all a bit weird and incestuous dont you think? And why is he fishing for information about my ex? I do not want to divulge anything should it blow up. Goes to show what a small small world we live in eh?!

[4answers]

There are many reasons.

 

He may be in the emotional position you were in following the break up. He may have ideas about the two of you or he may be nosy.

 

The only way to find out is to ask the direct question.

 

A lot of the time people avoid the truth and avoid asking what they really want. This comes accross as game playing and can be very hard to deal with.

 

The only true way to avoid / stop this is direct question.

 

Be wary, the answer might not be what you think !

 

Let us know how you get on.